Monday, March 16, 2009

I thought I was doing the right thing…

So one day awhile ago the girls asked me how you have babies. I told them it takes a very special hug to make this happen. End of story (I mean come on – they are five years old - do you really think I was going to spell it out? I’m still trying to figure out what to tell them their “little butt” is called). Anyway, it did seem to quench their curiosity and I hadn’t heard another word about it – until last night.

After bedtime last night the HotY and I were talking and he said “I think you better be prepared” and I said “what for?” to which he replied “Syd wants to know how tight you have to hug to make a baby”. OMG – nooooo I thought we were done with this topic for awhile. And now she wants to know how tight you have to hug? And you know the girl is all about hugging Wyatt no matter how many times I have told her that hugging him is not the thing to do. But regardless I thought the hugging answer was a great answer for five year olds but maybe not so much. I don’t know.

Actually, I’m worried about Syd. What if, somehow, I am giving her some kind of subliminal messages that it is all about boys? That all that matters is what boys think? I don’t know. I never say anything like that and I certainly don’t play subservient to the HotY but it seems that she is picking this up somewhere and I can only deduce it is from me. I never just tell my kids that they are cute or beautiful and not follow it up with telling them they are smart and kind and clever or whatever the situation may deem appropriate. I want them to be confident and secure and not obsessed with how they look. I want them to be well-rounded and not dependent on a boy to make them feel good about themselves. Lauren seems to be doing okay in this department but Syd, already at 5, seems to think it is all about boys. How do I convince her that boys are not all that – I mean I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them but you know what I mean. **SIGH** it’s going to be long 20 years isn’t it????

So there you go. Girls and boys and hugging – the basis for all the interactions in the world and it’s happening in my own little house