If you watched Grey's Anatomy last night you know what I am talking about. I knew they couldn't keep that "Happily Ever After" thing going with Meredith and McDreamy - not when Meredith is all "dark and twisty" on the inside - even after being "fixed". Actually what is it with all the unhappiness lately - no one is happy - not even tv characters. I guess they are all working to their climax - too bad life doesn't climax and then start again the next season.
So I'm thinking of discontinuing this blog. I know I have said this before, when I felt like my writing was getting stale, but now I'm saying it because I'm not really sure what my purpose of the blog is anymore. I started writing because it was fun to express my quirkly thoughts on life and to document the every day things that happen in our household and little part of the world. Now my writing , not so much entertaining as contemplative, and really who wants to read that kind of stuff. And why am I writing? If this is going to become some sort of private diary than shouldn't it be private? I mean I get readers but not a lot of commenters so if the purpose is to share ideas and get feedback that purpose is not being fulfilled. Maybe my purpose in blogging is purely selfish as I like to write, I like to put my thoughts down on paper. The problem with that is when you put your thoughts on paper and then share them with the world you have to expect people to know about your life and I don't know - sometimes I'm not sure I should be sharing what I share - that it would be better to just keep my mouth shut. I just don't know. I feel so unsettled. And I feel like I have a lot to say and yet nothing at all - and when I do say something I'm not quite sure what to say and it comes out all wrong so I think I should just not say anything at all - but then it just bubbles up to the surface again. Do you know what I mean? Or is this just another one of the darn quirky things about me? (The HotY and I were discussing something the other night and I was asking him hypothetical questions. Finally he looked at me kissed me and said "Ang, I really don't think there is anyone else like you in the world." and he meant it in the nicest way, but still... ) See, see this is what I mean - is this the kind of thing I should be sharing? Is this the kind of thing I should be putting out there for the world to see and read? I don't know. Sometimes I think - well if people see themselves in what I write then maybe it is the thing to do (listen to me - sounding all Pulitzer Prize winning writer on you - ha).
Okay I better quit now before I start sounding like a character from Brothers and Sisters - which my dad has deemed the biggest bunch of whiny, selfish, self-centered characters on TV next to Thirty Something (which I would like to watch again as I wasn't old enough to appreciate it when it was in it's prime).
So there you go. My thoughts on a Friday. I know I know finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow it was not...