You know the HotY is a very patient man but I’ll admit I do know how to push his buttons. BUT, isn’t that part of what marriage is all about – knowing the buttons and deciding whether to push them or not? Don’t act like you don’t know what I'm talking about or like I’m a bad person – you know it’s true. We know the buttons and sometimes we choose to push them.
One of the HotY’s buttons is when I don’t tell him about decisions I’ve made until I’ve already taken action. It really isn’t a conscious thing – a lot of the time I have thought about things for quite awhile before doing something and I just expect that he knows what I’m going to do before I do it. But SURPRISE to me – he CAN’T read my mind and these decisions I make do take him unaware. For example, yesterday I mentioned that I almost bought a new car while he and the kids were away that weekend. It isn’t like I had mentioned a new car before or even talked about test driving a car but a week after the event I just popped it out because, well I guess I felt like pushing a button - and his reply “well at least it wasn’t a house”. No buttons pushed and his statement was valid because our very first house – I bought it without him (I went and looked at the house, liked the house, made an offer on the house). I called him at work and said “I bought a house” – just like that I threw it out there. To say he was surprised was an understatement but after he saw the house he agreed my decision had been a good one - but still - he would have liked to have been part of the process. Sometimes I can be very independent even in a partnership. I’m thinking this might not be the best option :-(
So although I thought the car thing might catch him off guard it didn’t - nothing had actually been purchased and now he knew I was thinking – new car - but still, I persevered and managed to push a button over the weekend (again - don't judge - you know you've done it too). About a week ago I decided we needed to have a little friend/neighbor get together – we haven’t entertained adults in a while so I planned a party. I emailed the invitees some time last week and have been receiving acceptances and then on Sunday I thought – “hmmm maybe I better tell the HotY about this before someone else mentions it to him first”. So I told him – yesterday – that we would be entertaining on the 26th (I’m giving him plenty of notice – he should be happy) and that pushed the button – a little. Again, he was okay with the decision but would have liked to have been in on the decision making process – although seriously, after sixteen years you think the man would realize that I might not change and he could at least TRY to read my mind - it's the least he could do - seriously! :-)
Have a great button-less day!