Maybe I should just go to bed...

So it is late. The house is quiet. The "HotY" just went to bed. The kids have been asleep for hours but I can't seem to make myself get to bed. I have my MP3 files quietly playing on my computer and I am reluctant to leave. I think it is the music. Isn't it amazing how music can shape our moods and evoke our memories? Okay so maybe I have been listening to too much sad music :-) But seriously music is a constant in my life. I was raised with music whispered in my ears.

I can't think of music without thinking of my dad and I can't think of my dad without thinking of music. And lately I have been thinking of my dad a lot - maybe that is the reason for the music and not wanting to leave. You see I'm worried about my dad. He hasn't been feeling well and they don't know why. He is having some more tests tomorrow. I hope they figure this out.

So I am so glad that my parents don't read this blog because I really feel the need to talk about my dad and I would hate for my mom to feel bad. But you see I've always been a daddies girl. From my earliest memories my dad has been my hero, my guiding light. I am not even sure if he knows this, I just assume that he does although I have never told him. My dad has shaped my life from the qualities that I admire, to the friends that I have made, to the music I love. Which brings me back to the beginning. Music. My dad loves music. He loves to sing. When my brother and I were little he used to sing us to sleep. While other kids may have heard lullabies in their beds my bother and I heard Peter, Paul and Mary, Simon & Garfunkle and Neil Diamond. Sometimes there might have been a little Sunshine on my Shoulders thrown in just for variety.

And today these are the same songs that I sing when it is time for my kids to go to sleep. It's funny that one of my favorites, Where Have All The Flowers Gone, is now one of theirs. It isn't like I told them or give it more "play" time than If I Had a Hammer or 500 Miles. So I love that my kids are learning the words. I can only hope that when it is their time to sing lullabies that they will pass on the tradition. There is a song by Billy Joel called Lullaby and it is about living on in the music. I know my dad will always live on in my heart forever with the music that he brought to my life. Although he won't read this I'll say it anyway - I love you dad - always.