Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Some days...

Do you have those days, those days when you feel like whatever you are doing is not enough? That you should be making a difference? That you should be helping some one in some way? That you need to know the perfect words to say? The right things to do? The insight to give someone exactly what they need to make it over the hump?

I feel that way. I wish I were Oprah. She seems to do this on a daily basis. But then again, if you make it your occupation - your claim to fame - is it the same thing as feeling it in your soul and just doing it for the sake of doing it - being the right thing? For reaching out simply for the act of giving and not for publicity or fame or glory? I think it must lose something when it becomes contrived.

Regardless, this feeling of needing to do more makes me feel helpless. It makes me wonder what message it is that I am missing. That I'm not hearing and giving. It frustrates me. I don't know what to do with these feelings. What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to tell? Let's just say I'm having one of those days.

So if I'm supposed to be helping you - giving you my hand and I'm not, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you aren't hearing the words you need to hear. Feeling the care you need to feel. I'm sorry.

I know this is kind of weird and doesn't make a lot of sense but I feel like I have a responsibility to the world today and I'm not sure what it is so I'm just putting it out there. Maybe it is all because that dang Bachelor didn't pick either woman and they are both heartbroken and I feel like they need a friend. I don't know - I'm grasping - I just know that I feel like what ever it is I am doing with my life it is not enough.

Man, I think I need to go and roll around in some glittery sprinkles for awhile...

Oh and here's my hand ~} take it if you need it, I don't mind.


Maija said...

Angie, don't sell yourself short! You were so supportive and kind to me through my mom's illness and death. I couldn't be more grateful!

Wendy said...

Don't worry about those Bachelor women...it happened months ago and they are so over him right now. I think you just need to be available and the one you can help will just present themselves...sometimes all people need is for someone to listen to them and to love them...You have both of those qualities in abundance.

Elizabeth said...

Wow. Just by you posting this is reaching out!