Friday, December 31, 2010

Too much trepidation...

Here it is New Year's Eve day - the last day of 2010. It came so quickly. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to let it go. Last year, as far as I was concerned, 2009 could not come to a close fast enough. For some reason it was a hard year. This year was a hard year also but 2011 will be even harder. Although I will still be employed for one more month I believe I've started to say goodbye - goodbye to a 14 year career with a good company, a great boss, fun co-workers (well several of them anyway :-)), fair compensation and a comfortable place where I knew I belonged. Although I have started to say goodbye I'm not ready to say goodbye (I'm known for my ambivalence).  I thought I was ready but I'm not.

I know people become unemployed every day - I know I've had plenty of time to look for another job - I know many would tell me to straighten up, cope and deal - but I'm not ready. The strange fact is I didn't even realize I wasn't ready until today when I was reading someone's thoughts on the end of 2010 and my eyes started welling up and the tears started flowing and then I realized I'm not looking forward to 2011, I'm not ready. 2011 is too much uncertainty and unfamiliar territory and budgeting and soul searching and trepidation. Too much trepidation. I'm not ready.

TTFN... May your 2011 be filled with good things in familiar settings and not too much trepidation.

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