Saturday, June 6, 2009

When does this become easier?

I've never been good at good byes or endings - unless they are totally my decision (oh don't even get into that control issue thing - seriously I.DO.NOT.HAVE.CONTROL.ISSUES). Even when I know that the ending is inevitable - I'm still not ready. You think a person would figure this stuff out and then find a way to cope - but nope - it always catches me off guard, makes me cry and sucks any tiny bit of joy out of the occasion. This Friday was another ending. The ending of my daughters' Kindergarten year. I didn't cry when I dropped them off the first day - not really any way - okay maybe I got a little teary eyed but there really wasn't any full-on crying. But this end of the school year stuff. UGH. I cried Thursday morning when I read the last teacher update email. I cried Thursday afternoon when I was looking through the memory books which were lovingly assembled by Mrs. Wells and Mrs. Guidgell. I cried Thursday night when I helped the girls pick out their outfits for the last day of school. And then Friday - I cried all dang morning. When I said goodbye to the girls for the walk to school. When I saw Mrs. Wells in the hallway while waiting for class to be released to attend mass. When I was sitting in Church listening to Syd crying because every time she caught a glimpse of Mrs. Wells she felt sad. When a teacher I didn't even know, my children never had, and to be honest I wouldn't even have recognized on sight, gave her goodbye speech as she is retiring. AND THEN the teachers sang the Irish Blessing and I totally lost it. I'm talking tears running down my cheeks, nose blowing, sobbing. And of course there was Syd right with me - except she included sound. Lauren just looked at both of us like "what is wrong with you people". I was never so glad to say "Thanks be to God" and exit a church in my life. It was a very emotional day. No wonder I was tired today :-)

Anyway, the summer has begun and I'm sure there will be many adventures over the next three months. Sometimes I wish I were a teacher with the summer off but how would I ever handle those goodbye every single year??? I should probably just stay with the profession that I'm in.

TTFN... Oh and yes, I cried while I wrote this - I told you this ending stuff is hard on me.


Shirley said...

HUGS. I'll let you know if I do when Hayley is done in a few weeks. LOL

ZoeyCatherine said...

I did the same thing this year with my oldest son. He just graduated from preschool. I bawled like a baby on his graduation day... oh the pains of being a mother :)