It isn't always a BIG thing...

Okay in the entire scheme of living, dying and surviving this is one of the most trivial things I have had to say in a long time - but sometimes you just have to take a minute to regroup and focus on the non-important things.

Last night I watched The Notebook. I know some of you are probably die hard Notebook fans, having watched the movie over and over and over again, but I have only seen it twice (including last night’s viewing). It isn’t that I don’t like the movie – I do – especially the scenes where they were young and romantic and living life in a simpler time. But there is SOMETHING that bugs me about the movie. It bugged me the first time and it bugged me the second but I didn’t know what it was until I was watching the end of the movie last night. It has to do with the casting of James Garner as the “old” Noah. Why would they cast James Garner in this role? There is nothing about him that resembles the actor (and I’m ashamed to say I don’t know his name – this is the kind of stuff I have my friend Amy for – she’ll know the actor) that played the young and blond and baby-faced Noah. I know people change as they age but this was a complete miscasting as there wasn’t even a passing resemblance between the two actors unless someone had some really bad plastic surgery along the way. So I find that disappointing. It makes the movie a little disjointed for me. I’m not sure who should have played the elderly Noah. Maybe Robert Redford or Michael Douglas. What do you think?

So there you go - my big concern for Monday, June 29, 2009. It’s been a pressing issue and I’m so glad I finally got to voice this major life disappointment – aren’t you glad you stopped by today :-)

TTFN… Who would play you in the movie of your life – young and old???

No, I have not been eaten by a dog...

for those of you who may have been worried about me as I have been absent since my last post.

THE DOG has been to puppy preschool and is doing much much better. The trainer assured us that she was not aggressive and her attacking me is a sign of affection. I had a chat with Ms. Dog and informed her I was not at all thrilled about her own special PSA's for me and we seem to have come to an understanding. She is still not completely cured from showing me the love but it is much, much better.


The girls are spending the next six day's with the HotY's parents. I miss them already although they called within two hours of leaving so Lauren could tell me about stopping for ice cream and stubbing her toe - full details. The girl is a chatter.

Sydney is still pining away for Wyatt. The other day she told me she wanted to send him a post card. When I asked her what she was going to write she said "Dear Wyatt, I love you. Syd". I said "what if you say 'Dear Wyatt, I hope you are having a good summer. Syd'" She replied by saying "okay okay okay, Dear Wytt, I hope you are having a good summer. I love you. Syd".

No post cards have yet been sent :-)


We spent Father's Day with my parents. It was a spontaneous, surprise visit. Alex loves to swim so he was in fish heaven and between swimming and playing in the dress-up clothes the girls did not want to come home.

I know - this post doesn't have much flow or humor or even self-pondering - but I included pictures so that's something - right??? I'll try harder next time - I promise :-)

Pictures - enjoy.

Enough is Enough...

and that is where I am right now with the dog. She's a cute dog. She's a happy dog. She's a big dog. She's a dog who hates me. Seriously, the dog has to go. She won't listen to me. She won't obey for me. She won't walk on a leash with me. She attacks me. She is fine with every one else but with me - she's out of control. I have no idea what the issue is - dogs like me - really they do - but Autumn not so much and I can't deal with it anymore. I have enough things in my life causing me stress I don't need a dog on top of it. And it was MY idea to get the dog. I wanted a companion to replace Callie. I wanted a nice dog to keep me company. I wanted to have man's best friend by my side again - but the dog we ended up with - it isn't working out with the two of us. It makes me sad especially since I am not a quitter. Seriously, I don't just give up on stuff. Getting rid of the dog feels suspiciously like quitting but it's me or the dog...

There are big things on the horizon and I think admitting the dog is not working out and moving on is the first of them. Maybe taking that step will make the next few steps a little easier.

TTFN...

When does this become easier?

I've never been good at good byes or endings - unless they are totally my decision (oh don't even get into that control issue thing - seriously I.DO.NOT.HAVE.CONTROL.ISSUES). Even when I know that the ending is inevitable - I'm still not ready. You think a person would figure this stuff out and then find a way to cope - but nope - it always catches me off guard, makes me cry and sucks any tiny bit of joy out of the occasion. This Friday was another ending. The ending of my daughters' Kindergarten year. I didn't cry when I dropped them off the first day - not really any way - okay maybe I got a little teary eyed but there really wasn't any full-on crying. But this end of the school year stuff. UGH. I cried Thursday morning when I read the last teacher update email. I cried Thursday afternoon when I was looking through the memory books which were lovingly assembled by Mrs. Wells and Mrs. Guidgell. I cried Thursday night when I helped the girls pick out their outfits for the last day of school. And then Friday - I cried all dang morning. When I said goodbye to the girls for the walk to school. When I saw Mrs. Wells in the hallway while waiting for class to be released to attend mass. When I was sitting in Church listening to Syd crying because every time she caught a glimpse of Mrs. Wells she felt sad. When a teacher I didn't even know, my children never had, and to be honest I wouldn't even have recognized on sight, gave her goodbye speech as she is retiring. AND THEN the teachers sang the Irish Blessing and I totally lost it. I'm talking tears running down my cheeks, nose blowing, sobbing. And of course there was Syd right with me - except she included sound. Lauren just looked at both of us like "what is wrong with you people". I was never so glad to say "Thanks be to God" and exit a church in my life. It was a very emotional day. No wonder I was tired today :-)

Anyway, the summer has begun and I'm sure there will be many adventures over the next three months. Sometimes I wish I were a teacher with the summer off but how would I ever handle those goodbye every single year??? I should probably just stay with the profession that I'm in.

TTFN... Oh and yes, I cried while I wrote this - I told you this ending stuff is hard on me.

I love you more than cheese…

Seriously. Cheese is a big thing in our house. Everyone loves cheese. Even the dog - take out the cheese and she becomes Super Dog – able to leap small children in a single bound. So to say that you are loved more than cheese is a big deal. It is my little pet phrase. The other day when I was snuggling with the sick girl I kissed her sweet little neck and said “I love you more than cheese” to which she replied, without hesitation, “I love you more than the lamp” which of course made me laugh. Somehow I love you more than the lamp does not have quite the same ring to it as I love you more than cheese (okay fine, maybe some of you don’t think that has much of a ring to it either but it works in our house – I mean not that the HotY compares me to cheese but you know what I mean…). Anyway, Syd, seeing she had made me laugh, launched into a whole new level of silliness – loving me more than lamps, tables and entire living room suites combined. Kids – they can extrapolate any topic until it almost ceases to exist :-) or at least isn’t funny anymore (admit it – you KNOW what I mean).

Really, take Lauren for instance. She has been a wild girl lately, breaking into some self choreographed dance that we have dubbed the “monkey dance” (and trust me when I say the title describes it all. And yes, it is complete with sound effects). It’s funny the first time and sometimes even the second or third – but after that I’m really ready to move on from the monkey dance – but not Lauren – she could keep it up long after the laughter has stopped and really most of the time – she does :-)

I have no idea where my kids get this stuff from, seriously. They are so spontaneous, happy and carefree. It makes my heart sing. Sometimes when I am watching them or we are in a moment together I wonder if this will be it – if this will be one of the memories that they will remember forever. The memory that will spring to mind when they are old and wizened and needing a lift. The memory that will take them back to that time when they were 6 or 16 and life was full of fun. I hope they have many good and happy memories which will make them feel that carefree spirit in their future lives (one of mine involves making roads with my brother in the sandbox on a hot summer day – coming in the house to eat Macaroni & Cheese for dinner (as long as it wasn’t made by the babysitter who would only use HALF of the cheese packet) and then going back outside after the rain to search for the end of the rainbow – it’s a good thing).

So what is your memory? Doesn’t everyone have one?

TTFN… and remember to keep searching for the end of the rainbow.