A picture says a thousand words...

Easter 2009
(click to make larger)

I love this boy…

my nephew Jordan. I mean I love all my nephew’s but, Jordan, he’s one of a kind.

He’s a good sport (willing to wear sparkly dance clothes and “marry” Syd to make her happy

He’s a good guy and treats girls like they should be treated.

He’s got a good sense of humor – he and I can laugh together for hours.



He’s not too cool to still love his mom and to tell her.

He’s a pretty good driver (even if he did almost take out their garage door when I let him drive my van.

He’s my nephew - I can’t help but love him – but I would anyway – related or not.

Yes, we spent Easter at my parents. Yes, I got to spend some bonding time with my sister and her boys (Jordan and Austin). Yes, Jordan and I took a little road trip. No, he (Jordan) would not stop and let me chat with his girlfriend (I have no idea what he was afraid of :-)).

Yes, there were Easter Egg Hunts and Easter Baskets (pictures tomorrow). Yes, it was a nice holiday. Yes, we all ate far too much. Yes, the diet is back on…


No, I have no idea why this post is formatted the way it is but I tried and I can't fix it.

TTFN…

Twitterpated...

you know that whole spring - love is in the air - thing that happens? Well it is happening around here and really I'm a little old for the whole twitterpated thing so you know it has to do with my little darlings :-)

Of course the ongoing love story of Sydney and Wyatt is still a topic of discussion with Syd mentioning that she just happened to tell Wyatt that she loved him while they were doing their Easter buddy project. When I asked her what he said she gave the standard reply "he smiled" I don't know about you but I'm thinking that Wyatt does a lot of smiling :-) I can only hope that the summer break will cool down Syd's "affections" because right now she's talking about buying the house across the street so she and Wyatt can live there and I can babysit for their baby Pinkie (which just happens to be the name of her PINK bear). You can't deny the girl has a plan (she even has a back-up plan in the unlikely event that Wyatt marries someone else - his name is James).

Lauren, on the other hand, is much cooler about her feelings - although mention the name Oliver and she turns all shades of red. Yesterday she came home with "exciting news", crawled into my lap and revealed a necklace. Oliver took a vacation to a tropical locale over spring break and brought back a gift for Lauren (the shell necklace). I actually knew it was coming as I had talked with his mom the day before and she had "warned" me about Oliver's surprise (of course I didn't let Lauren know I already knew). When I asked her what she did when he gave it to her she said she put it in her backpack and wouldn't open it in front of him (she is very modest about this kind of thing - not so modest that it stops her from shakin' her booty down the hallway when it is pajama time but give her a gift and she is all shy). She did remember to say thank you. And now that necklace is her prized possession.

See what I mean - TWITTERPATED. Alex seems immune to the whole "affairs of the heart" thing right now but the girls - not so much. I have no idea where they get all these romantic notions.

Have a great Easter and watch out for that bunny - he may bring some twitterpation along with his basket of eggs.

Good Food, Good Friends, Good Fun…

Listed in no particular order.

Last night we had our friends Julie and Larry over for dinner (the girls are gone this week and Alex had a movie date). It was a fabulous night. We ate, we drank (can you say Pomegranate martinis) we talked and mostly we laughed. Julie and Larry are family. We went to High School together and now we are lucky enough to live in the same small city – actually the same neighborhood. They are Godparents to our girls. They have three fabulous children of their own. They are good, good, good people. It was a great night.

I did leave Larry a little perplexed at one point in the evening. I was telling a story (I know – so hard to believe) which started out in one place and somewhere about the middle we were somewhere else entirely different. Larry finally stopped me somewhere in that middle section and said “Ang, this really is a very fascinating story but I have no idea what this has to do with you being in a serious car accident” Julie and the HotY just gave him the “welcome to our world” look followed by Dennis saying “just give her time, she’ll get there –she’ll tie it all together you just have to be patient” They acted like all these details and tangents have nothing to do with the real story – but really I just want to give the whole picture – seriously (besides there was super-special ESP involved so I had to show the connection). AND who likes only part of the story? Furthermore, in my defense, I have no idea how many martinis I had consumed at that point (it’s okay – I wasn’t going anywhere) heck I had moved beyond martinis and was breaking into the Razzle Dazzles. Did I mention it was a little hard to get up this morning? I know such irresponsible behavior for a wife and mother of three but what can I say – it doesn’t happen very often.

Anyway, it was a very fun night and this morning Julie and I simultaneously sent emails stating this fact (did I mention super special ESP?) and that is a good thing.

TTFN… laughter really is the best medicine.

Mother Nature is not a funny chick…

There is snow on the ground this morning. SNOW. IN APRIL. SNOW. Growing up there was an on-going April Fool’s joke in our house. Who ever was first up would run to the window, look out and say “IT SNOWED” hoping to get the other person to run to the window and then look upon only grass and tulips. That is how it worked in our Midwestern State. There wasn’t snow on the ground in April – not typically anyway. Since I have lived in my adopted Northern State it is more typical to see snow on the ground in April than not. Today that was the case. :-( It sucked.

Today is also my brother’s birthday. My brother is two years younger than I am. We were pretty close while growing up. I think we share more of the same temperament than my sister and I. My brother is stubborn and opinionated and a button pusher (seriously, we can still get into a heated argument about the movie The Breakfast Club – him voicing his belief that my friends and I were the Molly Ringwald’s of our High School days – me adamantly disagreeing – seriously we still fight about this – I know I know but it’s just one of those buttons). Of course those are not any of the traits we share. My brother is also compassionate and kind and loving and soft-hearted (sorry Sean but it is true). He is an excellent father, husband, son, brother, uncle and friend. And he is funny, very funny. He can bring tears of laughter to my eyes like no one else in this world. He’s a good man. He’s been there for me. He understands all about George Jetson and was the originator of Stump. He’s my brother and I love him. Never mind that he was born on April Fool’s Day – better known as Dum Dum Day in some households (you can read about that here when I wrote about my brother's birthday last year - which is embarrassingly similar to what I wrote this year - some days original I am not) because he is no fool. Happy Birthday Sean!

TTFN… Oh look it snowed – and that is no April Fool’s.

I can't wait to be perfect...

that is the ongoing theme of my life.

I can't wait to be a perfect person. To have the perfect body. To be the perfect wife and mom and friend. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. It is a HUGE character flaw. Seriously. Because in the process of impatiently waiting for things to happen, perfectly, things are happening all around me. Today that is making me sad. What if I miss once in a lifetime opportunities because I just don't think I am perfect enough?

So, I take these thoughts about perfection and add thoughts of perception which leads me to a huge self-righteous discussion with myself, I tell myself that it doesn't matter that I am not perfect. That I am who I am. That it is okay to just be me as I am right now. That the people who like me, like me for who I am today, not the perfect person I am waiting to become.

I try to tell myself that it is all okay and if things get better along the way - HOORAY FOR ME. But then I think what if they don't get better? What if they stay the same? What if I am never the perfect me I think I should be? And what if I decide to be an imperfect me and be okay with that but others aren't okay with that? What if they still think I'm too ugly or too fat or too chatty or too needy or JUST TOO MUCH??? What if? Then I get all bogged down with the impatience and never enjoy the journey along the way. I have to learn how to enjoy the journey. I have to learn to have faith that even though I may not be perfect today (and I may never be perfect) that it is okay - that people still love me. That the only one who is impatiently waiting for the perfect me to arrive is me. That is what I have to learn. And if I do that - well than I may be perfect...

Sorry I know this may be a little too much. I was going to sit on it until I could say what I wanted to say perfectly but instead I just decided to say it from the heart. Move along now - there is nothing left to see.

TTFN... remember to enjoy the unexpected surprises along the way whether you are ready for them or not - they are all part of the journey.

Rock - Scissors - Paper

Well maybe not Rock... but there will definitely be paper and scissors in my weekend.

I am back logged with sign orders - AGAIN. It is the funniest thing - I just get caught up with signs and just when I think I might be able to actually organize all my JUNK bam I get a bunch of orders - no one wants the darn ready-made stuff...

I just finished a big order for a store in California (so now I have signs in stores in Chicago, Atlanta and somewhere near LA) and several custom orders (including a baby name banner - Sofia Clementine - which was very whimsical - and you just know the mom has to be whimsical if she named her baby Sofia Clementine - it is a mouthful but something about it just makes me happy)

Anyway, I thought I had a little break coming (you know where I could knit) but not so much. I got a local custom order, a reminder about a custom order I forgot :-(, an order for the Chicago store, and a Just Married banner which I'm anxious to start (yes, yes, yes, the Just Married banners are some of my favorites - the brides are always so excited and they share all kinds of information about their wedding with me and I try very, very hard to make sure the banner is just right - after all it is a once in a lifetime event).


Anyway, I actually closed the shop for a very short time earlier this week - or was it earlier last week - I can't remember - the HoTY thinks it takes up too much of my time, but I really do enjoy the opportunity to be creative - sooooo as a compromise I have promised to limit the number of hours I spend doing this (which means I just have to give people longer deadlines to get their stuff) so I can spend a little bit more time with him. So far it is working okay, except - like now, when I'm really feeling the pressure to get things done. Luckily the kids are all gone this weekend (yes, it will be a date night tonight) so I can spend more time locked away with my scissors and paper (and Friday Night Lights Seasons I & II - LOVE Friday night lights - LOVE IT) and it isn't such a big deal.

Shoot and now I just remembered I was going to take the dog for a walk but I forgot and I already changed into my "work" clothes - which are NOT presentable for the neighborhood. Dang. This forgetting thing has been the theme for the week. The more crowded my mind becomes the more stuff I forget and lately my mind has been very crowded. Note to self: must remember to stop thinking...


TTFN...

Sorry for all the weird spacing - Blogger is being difficult today - sometimes I win and sometimes the computer wins - today it is the computer.

ETA - I didn't mean to make this sound all "oh Look at me and my pretty signs" - so if you read it that way that is not the way I meant it to sound.

Up until fifteen minutes ago...

I was completely stressed out. This morning, while in the shower (where I seem to have most of my really important thoughts), I remembered three things that I had been forgetting to do. 1. Renew my Driver's License (overdue - and I am hoping that I won't be taking a get in the car and drive test - I've never taken a get in the car and drive test - only Driver's Ed and the written tests - I KNOW - it's all about where I grew up :-)). 2. Send an email to the girls' teacher. 3. ??? By the time I was ready to leave the house I had totally forgotten what #3 was all about and it was driving me crazy! I mean I even turned my rings around so I wouldn't forget to remember - and I did remember 2 out of 3 but that elusive 3 was the magic number. I knew I should have called myself and left a voice mail (do you do this - I do it all the time and then when I get to work I look at that red button on my phone and think "Holy Bananas who called me already this morning" and then I remember :-)). So the entire way to work I am thinking and thinking and thinking trying to remember what that #3 item could have been. I knew it had something to do with work but after that it was all a blur. It really was causing me stress. I hate forgetting things. I walked into my office still having no idea what it was I was trying to remember and I was beginning to despair of ever remembering what it may have been *SIGH*. And then - I looked at my calendar and it all came rushing back - I REMEMBERED - I remembered what I forgot - so I got right on it and then crossed it off my MUST remember list. I feel so good, so relieved, so liberated!!!! And then I read my email and two more items popped up on the MUST REMEMBER list - so this time I wrote them down - I'm not counting on my rings to help me remember this time...

TTFN and don't forget to remember...

Well at least someone else gets it...

I don't know about you, but there are times (like most of the time) when I feel I am truly the most quirky person in the world. Does everyone feel this way - alone in their own unique weirdness? Or is it just me? I hope it's not just me. Or is it???

Sometimes that feeling of being unique is very liberating and sometimes it is very scary and sometimes it is just lonely. BUT sometimes we run across someone and we know this person gets it - at least one unique quirky trait anyway. So I discovered this guy, Ken Armstrong, and his blog. I'm not really sure how I came across him. Seriously, I don't remember, and he was a recent find so I guess I wasn't paying much attention - until I started to read what he had to say and then I started paying attention. I was planning on adding him to my list of blogs I like in the sidebar but I wasn't overly impressed by what he had to say today so I started looking at his "favorite entries" list and read. And then I came across this post and I thought - this guy gets it - this guy gets the entire life/moments/memories connection. Anyway, I thought he did a great job of telling the story. And really the story itself is not earth shattering, it's simply a story of a day in the life but it's the connection that he does a great job of describing. He get's it.

I know I know this is a lot of build-up for a very simple thing but what can I say - I get excited when I think there is someone else who gets the experience - the connection. You might not think it is all that - but I thought it was a good story so there you go...

How long will she be a puppy???

It's a darn good thing that babies and puppies are cute because sometimes that is the only thing they've got going for them :-) Seriously, Autumn is doing well. She was sick once on the way home (on me - and just for the record every occupant of our home - with the exception of the HotY - has puked on me at least once - sometimes being a mom isn't all it's cracked up to be), she's pooped in the house twice and had several piddles but nothing too serious. I think we'll keep her :-) . Daisy the cat is seriously ticked off and gave her a big whop on the head but she'll get over herself soon. All in all we're having fun - but remind me - how long does this puppy stage last :-)

TTFN...

I’d like a black eye please…

So last Friday I volunteered at a Fish Fry which benefitted my daughters’ school foundation. It was a blast – although I was late to the party. When the volunteer information came home from school I set the paper aside fully intending to fill it out and send it in ASAP. Well guess what? Somehow that paper got buried and I never got it sent in. Luckily, for me, my dear friend Julie was on the planning committee, so one week before the event I called her and said “sign me up for the Fish Fry wherever you need the help” to which she replied “Face painting”. So there it was my assignment.

I arrived at my scheduled time with daughters in tow (Alex had a bowling date). The place was PACKED. There were over 1000 people in attendance – WOW! After getting Syd situated with friends dancing to the live band and then surrendering Lauren over to her “boyfriend” Oliver, who became her escort for the rest of the evening (it was the cutest darn thing – he is in Kindergarten also, I have been told he refers to Lauren as GIRLFRIEND (LOL) and they both love Star Wars Legos – Lauren is no Barbie lovin’ girl) I made my way over to the Face Painting table, where there were several other face painters, I picked up my paintbrush and went to work. About half-way through the evening my clientele changed from little kids wanting butterflies and unicorns and fish to Middle School and Jr. High girls asking for beards and moustaches and other assorted facial features. WHAT? Why do you pretty girls want to look like ugly boys? But I worked away and my line continued to grow. Suddenly there were three sixth grade girls in front of me asking for black eyes. Me: “You want to look like you have a black eye? REALLY?” Them: “Yes Yes Yes” Okay. And I do have to say when I was done they looked pretty real – if I do say so myself. It was fun. While giving the girls their “black eyes” we talked and they all knew Lauren and Sydney and they all knew about Syd’s love for Wyatt. It seems that Wyatt turns red whenever Syd’s name is mentioned but he is very sweet to her. I was glad to hear that as I did not want him being mean to her because she is soooo darn persistent. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with these nice girls. I was glad to hear they knew and liked my daughters, and seemed to look out for them at school. AND the best news – now I have the names and phone numbers of three potentially awesome babysitters – YEAH!

Anyway, the night was a huge success. Much money was made for the school foundation, my girls had a BLAST, dancing and playing games and visiting with friends. I had fun talking with all the kids and I have babysitter names. What more could a girl ask for on a Friday night???

Puppy pick-up this Friday. I can’t wait!!!

TTFN…

The one about finding peace...

This morning when I got in the van to come to work I was fortunate to hear my buddy Todd Rundgren start my day. Sure, it wasn’t Hello It’s Me but it was Can We Still Be Friends which is also a good song. I have no idea when Todd worked his way into my consciousness but I’m glad he did (maybe it was from my aunt – who was a hippie – who painted flowers and vines on my arms and legs and fueled my ambition to be a flower child (or Go-Go Girl) when I grew up – oh and neither of those worked out for me :-)). Anyway, for some reason I find his songs make me feel peaceful. Who knows – I’m just weird what can I say????

I’ve needed some peace lately so Todd on the radio – it was a very good thing.

My peace, what little of it I have – and if you have ever called my house or stopped by you know what I’m talking about - will probably be pretty short-lived since our new puppy will be taking up residence in our home on Friday evening. The girls and I went to the pet store yesterday and “stocked up” which to the girls meant a pink doggie bed complete with pink bone shaped pillow and blankie and doggie toys. What I did not buy was the carpet deodorizer /neutralizer stuff for “accidents”. I thought we already had some and it was $11.00. The HotY didn’t exactly follow my logic – ”you bought a doggie bed for $25 but you passed on the carpet stuff because it was $11 and we might already have it?” I’m sorry but I still don’t understand his dismay – I mean we DIDN’T have a doggie bed and we MIGHT have had the carpet stuff (we didn’t – but I didn’t know that at the time) what is hard to understand about that concept? So it looks like one more trip to the pet store – this time HE can go :-)

TTFN… Have a great evening!

I thought I was doing the right thing…

So one day awhile ago the girls asked me how you have babies. I told them it takes a very special hug to make this happen. End of story (I mean come on – they are five years old - do you really think I was going to spell it out? I’m still trying to figure out what to tell them their “little butt” is called). Anyway, it did seem to quench their curiosity and I hadn’t heard another word about it – until last night.

After bedtime last night the HotY and I were talking and he said “I think you better be prepared” and I said “what for?” to which he replied “Syd wants to know how tight you have to hug to make a baby”. OMG – nooooo I thought we were done with this topic for awhile. And now she wants to know how tight you have to hug? And you know the girl is all about hugging Wyatt no matter how many times I have told her that hugging him is not the thing to do. But regardless I thought the hugging answer was a great answer for five year olds but maybe not so much. I don’t know.

Actually, I’m worried about Syd. What if, somehow, I am giving her some kind of subliminal messages that it is all about boys? That all that matters is what boys think? I don’t know. I never say anything like that and I certainly don’t play subservient to the HotY but it seems that she is picking this up somewhere and I can only deduce it is from me. I never just tell my kids that they are cute or beautiful and not follow it up with telling them they are smart and kind and clever or whatever the situation may deem appropriate. I want them to be confident and secure and not obsessed with how they look. I want them to be well-rounded and not dependent on a boy to make them feel good about themselves. Lauren seems to be doing okay in this department but Syd, already at 5, seems to think it is all about boys. How do I convince her that boys are not all that – I mean I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them but you know what I mean. **SIGH** it’s going to be long 20 years isn’t it????

So there you go. Girls and boys and hugging – the basis for all the interactions in the world and it’s happening in my own little house

Out of sorts...

I hate that feeling. Do you know what I mean - that feeling of not knowing exactly what is making you feel so bad? Sure, you have a few ideas but you just can't get past the roadblock. I hate it.

This morning I woke up early when the girls climbed into our bed and then I fell back to sleep and had the saddest dream. I woke-up crying and have basically been there ever since. The nicer the HotY and the kids are the more I cry. WTH. There are a few exceptions, but generally I am not a huge crier (now my friend Roxann - that girl is a crier - her eyes can well up with tears at the drop of a hat) so when I have a day like this all I can think about is making it end. I've been cleaning and doing laundry. I read a magazine and went for a walk, surfed the Internet (where I just found more stories to cry over :-() and thought about taking a nap. I should be making signs but when I'm feeling sad I just can't make myself be creative. Maybe I'll play WebKinz and make some KinzCash for my girlies. There is nothing like a good game of Cash Cow or Home Before Dark to make you forget all your troubles.

The angst is back...

If you watched Grey's Anatomy last night you know what I am talking about. I knew they couldn't keep that "Happily Ever After" thing going with Meredith and McDreamy - not when Meredith is all "dark and twisty" on the inside - even after being "fixed". Actually what is it with all the unhappiness lately - no one is happy - not even tv characters. I guess they are all working to their climax - too bad life doesn't climax and then start again the next season.

So I'm thinking of discontinuing this blog. I know I have said this before, when I felt like my writing was getting stale, but now I'm saying it because I'm not really sure what my purpose of the blog is anymore. I started writing because it was fun to express my quirkly thoughts on life and to document the every day things that happen in our household and little part of the world. Now my writing , not so much entertaining as contemplative, and really who wants to read that kind of stuff. And why am I writing? If this is going to become some sort of private diary than shouldn't it be private? I mean I get readers but not a lot of commenters so if the purpose is to share ideas and get feedback that purpose is not being fulfilled. Maybe my purpose in blogging is purely selfish as I like to write, I like to put my thoughts down on paper. The problem with that is when you put your thoughts on paper and then share them with the world you have to expect people to know about your life and I don't know - sometimes I'm not sure I should be sharing what I share - that it would be better to just keep my mouth shut. I just don't know. I feel so unsettled. And I feel like I have a lot to say and yet nothing at all - and when I do say something I'm not quite sure what to say and it comes out all wrong so I think I should just not say anything at all - but then it just bubbles up to the surface again. Do you know what I mean? Or is this just another one of the darn quirky things about me? (The HotY and I were discussing something the other night and I was asking him hypothetical questions. Finally he looked at me kissed me and said "Ang, I really don't think there is anyone else like you in the world." and he meant it in the nicest way, but still... ) See, see this is what I mean - is this the kind of thing I should be sharing? Is this the kind of thing I should be putting out there for the world to see and read? I don't know. Sometimes I think - well if people see themselves in what I write then maybe it is the thing to do (listen to me - sounding all Pulitzer Prize winning writer on you - ha).

Okay I better quit now before I start sounding like a character from Brothers and Sisters - which my dad has deemed the biggest bunch of whiny, selfish, self-centered characters on TV next to Thirty Something (which I would like to watch again as I wasn't old enough to appreciate it when it was in it's prime).

So there you go. My thoughts on a Friday. I know I know finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow it was not...

I think I've been this way before...

yesterday was just a weird day. I felt like I was living a rerun.

The girls had swimming lessons - the first lesson since last summer. And, just like the first lesson of the series that summer, I needed to stop and get gas. Although I left in plenty of time and went to a familiar gas station and knew that I paid correctly and could get the gas nozzle thingie down without touching it and I wasn't late I still did not come out of the encounter ditz free. I got out of the van and started filling up and the girls started yelling "MOM it's cold shut the door" I don't know what I was thinking about but it wasn't putting gas in the van and while deep in thought I forgot to close the door when I got out. Big eye roll - what was I thinking??? Where was I?

We were a little early for swimming (really, it's true) so instead of heading right for the club we took a drive in the neighborhood - a neighborhood I used to know very well as I used to live there. I took the hidden alley behind my former house on the one-way street and showed the girls the window that used to be my room. They weren't impressed - as a matter of fact they said "that's an icky house mom - I'm glad you don't live there anymore". At least they are honest :-)
Then we went to the lessons. They are taught by my friend Jan. She has privileges at a local health club - the same health club I went to for years when I actually liked to work-out. And although that was many years ago - before children - the place still looks the same. The colors in the locker room are the same, the front desk is the same, the pool is the same - I even saw some of the same people that were there all that time ago. It was kind of surreal. It made me want to work out (I KNOW!) It made me feel like I've been this way before. Like I said - it was just kind of a weird day.

I did watch Dancing With The Stars on Monday. There are some BAD dancers this time. And what is the deal with that Apple computer guy? He's old and everyone knows even the young computer geeks don't know how to dance - it's a documented fact - just look it up. I was most impressed with Shawn Johnson and the Melissa chick that was dumped by the Bachelor - I'm glad to see she is back on her feet. I'm thinking that Mr. I'm the best dad in the world Jason the Bachelor guy is not so much - you know? That man is going to be single for a lllllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg time. Pick a path and at least fight it out man - holy bananas. Anyway, there just isn't anyone making my heart go pitter patter :-) Where's my Mario? Syd was very impressed with the show and was mostly concerned about the costumes and shoes. SHOES - where did she get this shoe thing? I mean I like a cute pair of shoes and all but I don't have the typical female shoe fetish- not usually anyway - unless they are really really cute and maybe a little blingy and pretty and (okay maybe I like shoes a little) Anyway, it was not a good thing if she didn't get a look at the shoes - who knew. Oh and to say she was impressed by the fact that Barbie and I share the same birthday (although not the same number, contrary to what my friend Wendy would have you believe) would be an understatement. She's my girl :-)

Before I go I have one other random item: here is a link to Tara Whitney's blog. She is a photographer. She has posted this awesome video. Watch it - really - it will make you smile - it might make you cry - but either way it is such a sweet video I had to share. Who knew...

TTFN... some roads lead to new destinations and some just go in circles but regardless at least you're moving.

Happy Birthday to me - the official version...

it's 12:21 a.m. so that means it is officially my birthday. WooHoo. Ring the bells and bring on the party balloons.



You know it's such a funny thing about birthday's. I always tell myself that my birthday doesn't really matter. That I'm a grown-up. That everyone has a birthday - I'm not any more special than anyone else. But then it starts to creep up - that feeling of anticipation. Of wanting to really feel special. Like it is a big day - this day I entered the world.



I'll get up thinking that every thing about the day is going to be bigger and better than any other day. That the sun is going to shine brighter and the birds are going to sing sweeter and everyone will be nice to me and there won't be any sadness or anger or disappointment - that life is bliss. But then the end of the day will come and I'll realize it really wasn't that much different than any other day. That is not to say that the day will not be good. It will be good - very good - my kids and the HotY will be extra nice. I won't have to cook. I'll go out to lunch with Amy and maybe for a few cocktails with friends in the evening - but all in all - it's just a day like any other day (except those two little numbers which partially define me will be changing) - it is only in my mind - that thing about the sun and the birds and the goodness in the world - that the day is really anything beyond ordinary.



I don't mean to sound all melancholy (that's the problem with staying up late at night when the house is quiet - a lot of time to think). I've had a great birthday so far. We had cake and ice cream at my parents with a very nice gift. The HotY gave me a very unexpected and appreciated and far too expensive gift. My kids are all excited about giving me the cards they have made. It's good. All good. I know it's good. So don't get me wrong. I'm very appreciative of the life I have. Of the kindness and goodness and love I am surrounded with on a daily basis. It is all good - very good.



Sooooo, in light of my birthday I'm going to give you a list of songs you might want to add to your iPod if they aren't already there. These are some of my favorites from the non-mainstream (does that make sense). Some are new and some are old. Listen and enjoy. Or don't listen and move on. It is what it is :-)



Here you go - Happy Birthday to me - from me :-)



1, Adele - Chasing Pavements (thanks Amy :-))

2. Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy

3. One Republic - Come Home

4. One Republic - Won't Stop (ignore the video - it is the only clip of the song that I could find that wasn't a live version - it's about the song - not the video :-))

5. U2 - Running To Stand Still

6. U2 - Sweetest Thing

7. Shinedown - Second Chance

8. 3 Doors Down - Let Me Be Myself

9. Bruce Springsteen - One Step Up

10. Del Amitri - Tell Her This

All I want is to shower alone...

we are spending the weekend at my parents (hey, a girl needs her mommy and daddy at birthday time) and this morning all I wanted to do was take a shower - ALONE. You would think that would be an easy thing to accomplish, but not so much. There were no less than five people in and out within 15 minutes (and don't even bother to mention locking the door - it only results in incessant knocking). First Lauren was in because she had to go potty, (Lauren, I'm in the shower). Then Syd came in offering Grandma's yummy raspberry water (Syd, I'm in the shower). Then Alex came in and wanted to know if he could take a shower downstairs (ALEX, I'M IN THE SHOWER - GET OUT). THEN Dennis came in because he thinks there would be nothing better than taking a shower with me - right now - at my parent's (Dennis, I'm in the shower - my parent's shower - GET OUT) and then of course there is my mother who is in and out various times for various things, who knows what, but with her I just keep my mouth closed. She could send me back downstairs to THAT shower after all :-) And the thing about the shower? All of this in and out and shower visiting wouldn't have been so bad except that my parents redid their bathroom recently and put in CLEAR shower doors. NICE. Pretty they may be, private they are not...

So that birthday wish I made yesterday - it now includes "private shower".

TTFN... and remember to think twice about those pretty clear doors.

Holiday...

what about that song - is it a better one to have stuck in your head? Shirley????

So I'm on vacation (I'd say holiday but that is way too pretentious for me - I mean really, it (that whole pretentious fake British accent thing) didn't work for Madonna, so I'm positive it won't work for me). And truthfully, vacation is even pushing it a little. I have Friday and Monday off to go NOWHERE - to do NOTHING - Hooray for me. Well I won't be spending the entire time doing nothing but you know what I mean - no real obligations.

Friday I am meeting my friend Sue for lunch so we can figure out the community ed classes we will enroll our kids in this spring, which is just code for "find a time to get together and chat without kids or husbands" :-) So tonight, I'll stay up late, sleep in tomorrow and then go out for lunch - possibly followed by a little shopping (I need new sunglasses) - the options are limitless.

Monday is my birthday and I am still juvenile enough to want the day off. I mean it is bad enough thinking about turning 30 this year (Wendy - not ONE word) without having to work through the day :-) Besides I am meeting my friend Amy for lunch followed by shopping (that is a definite) - it's an all day event. I don't know what is planned after that. I might just send my kids to SACC and really enjoy an entire day to myself. Again, so many choices - the trail could lead anywhere :-) Oh and lest we forget - Dancing With the Stars begins it's new season.

And lastly about my friends (since I seem to be making that reference frequently tonight) my good friend Roxann came over last night and while we were talking she asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't come up with a good answer because seriously, just having a good, happy day filled with love is all I need. So, that's my wish (well that and for the anonymous commenter /reader to reveal themselves. Oh and for Dancing with the Stars to introduce a Rob Lowe secret super special dancing extravaganza).

I'm rambling. I've been kind of rambly lately. Feel free to doze off - just don't tell me - or at least wait until my birthday is over :-)

TTFN...

I will survive...

Before we go any further - just let me say for the record that THAT song is almost as high on my songs to dislike list as Sheryl Crowe and All I Wanna Do Is... (you know the song - I can't go any further because then it will just get stuck in my head). Sooooo, I survived my Monday - it wasn't that bad - just a very long day with a lot of stress since the failure or success of the day was firmly on my plate - I'm happy to say that the day was a success - followed by a huge sigh of relief from me. Actually today was a worse day but I'm not going to get into it. I really detest myself when I complain. If you can't fix a problem then you just need to cope and deal baby. I sometimes need to remind myself. So there you go - see I'm bossy with myself too :-)

That's it - all I've got - there is nothing happening in the big city. I could ramble on but I think I've already done that :-) So I'm out for now.

TTFN...

Can I skip ahead...?

Why is it that most of the time it isn't okay to skip ahead - at least not in life. Seriously, I'd be all right with not experiencing every aspect of every moment of every day - you know to skip ahead. Right now I'd like to skip ahead to Tuesday. It is not going to be a fun Monday. I have no idea what time I will be home tomorrow night as I have work obligations that will go into the evening and frankly - even though there are times when I can't wait to get out of the house (come on admit it - you feel that way sometimes too) tomorrow night I would much rather be at home. UGH. I'm just dreading it. I mean it is nothing that drastic but it is something that almost every one else, except a handful of people, will have a choice about. I'm one of the not so lucky ones due to the nature of my job, so no choice :-( I know I know why don't I whine just a little bit more - welcome to the world of adults - blah blah blah. I know...

So moving on... in case you're wondering I still do not know who my anonymous commenter/reader is. Just because I haven't said anything doesn't mean I've quit thinking about it - so come on - just let me know who you are. Don't make me link Taylor Swift again -one time was embarrassing enough :-)

Okay, that's it. I'm a little too crabby to be writing anyway.

TTFN... Think of me tomorrow because I'd much rather be thinking of you than what is on my agenda.

Waiting for Autumn...

I know and it isn't even Spring yet! Actually the Autumn we are anxiously awaiting is not of the seasonal kind. We are waiting for our new puppy who we picked out today and have named Autumn. I'm not sure we are ready for a puppy but it's a done deal. Three weeks to puppy-proof - it's an extreme measure to try to get my kids to pick-up but so far it is doing the trick.

Lauren had her heart set on getting a boy dog (I really don't know why). We picked out the puppy we liked the best - all of us thinking it was a boy - well because I said it was a boy (hey it looked like a boy to me - I guess I didn't look closely enough - either that or I need to take Biology class again). So we handed "him" over to the owner so she could attach the "taken" collar and guess what - IT'S A GIRL!!! Lauren was not happy and insisted she wanted a boy - so we picked a boy that looked almost as cute as our girl and then we mixed them up and told her to pick her favorite - she picked the girl. She still wasn't very happy. We told her to pick again (after mixing them up again) - she picked the girl again. This time we didn't tell her which it was - not until we got home. She's over it already but for a while there it was the end of the world - just ask Lauren.

So here she is Ms. Autumn, she is a Goldendoodle. She is only 5 weeks old so she won't be in our home for three more weeks. Unfortunately she is currently living about an hour from our house so there probably won't be any visits until we can bring her home.





I'm still not sure I'm ready for this.

TTFN...

But does He have a sense of humor?

God, that is. Or is He a practical joker (my LEAST favorite brand of humor)? - because I'm thinking that He takes great comic relief and delight in my quirky life. Seriously. FOR INSTANCE - remember that stop sign runner confrontation? Come on - I know you remember - it was so unlike me and I know you were all thinking - why did she do that? Anyway, today I discovered that not only do the children of said law breaker attend the same school two of my children attend, BUT he works in the same office building that I work in. WHAT? What are the chances of that? I mean come on - where I live, it's not a metropolis but it isn't a small town either. So now, not only do I have to avoid him at school, I have to worry about sharing an elevator with him or meeting him in the corridor or arriving in the parking lot at the same time - heck I'm afraid to even park next to the guy. I do not find any humor in this - nor any of the other "small world" twists of fate which make frequent appearances in my life.

I'm tired of being PUNK'D by God. I don't even like that show nor any other of the genre. I don't find them entertaining or funny - but - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - that I like. How come I don't get to participate in that game? Come on God, bring it on, I could win - I know I could. Just think of how proud You would be - sure it might not be as funny as this other weird and twisted destiny stuff but still...

Okay here's the thing...

I don't talk about this often - because - well I'd like to pretend it doesn't exist - but the truth of the matter is I really need to get control of my diet and fitness. In other words I NEED A DIET - seriously. I used to be soooo good about the fitness thing. I worked out regularly (like five days out of seven - and that does not include the leisurely Saturday or Sunday afternoon bike ride or walk I would fit in) and I walked almost everywhere except to my job. So see what I mean, that was good stuff. My diet - well that has never been the best. There was a time when I would only eat 800 calories in one day (I'm not kidding about this - you can ask around). I would eat whatever I wanted (some days it may have been 8 cookies) but once I hit that magical 800 calories I was done for the day and I wouldn't budge no matter how much cajoling there was by my roommates to please share pizza with them. I did this calorie restricting thing pretty faithfully for about four years, dropping pounds every week, working out consistently and yet continuing to think I was the fattest chick in the aerobics class (and really, I was never a skinny-as-a-rail kind of girl - my body genetics just have not predisposed me to that kind of figure. I'm a pear. I had an itty-bitty top with hips and thighs - YUCK). I hid in the back of the class just so I wouldn't have to confront the mirrors. I was told this type of behavior is called "anorexic tendencies" - whatever, I really hate being labeled. And then some things happened in my life that kind of knocked me off my feet and I found that I felt compelled to eat. I couldn't not eat anymore but still the mirror and scale dominated my life so I discovered a new way to combat the fat monster - I can eat and then I can throw up! WOW what a fabulous idea. Never mind that it took a ton of time and it's smelly and it made me tired and gave me callouses on my fingers - it was a way to have my cake and eat it too - literally. I was made to attend a Bulimia therapy group - they kicked me out - I was too ambivalent (It's true - I couldn't make up this kind of stuff). So on it went, trying to find my perfect skinny body which existed and yet I never saw it. Finally it stopped - I got pregnant and realized that this was no way to make a healthy baby. So I just stopped - I have been told that this is very unusual - this ability to just stop - atypical - quirky - that label I understand. And when I got pregnant the pounds piled on. All those abused fat cells in my body decided to rebel and had one heck of a party. WooHoo - let's inflate - and they did. And so the cycle continued until I am where I am today. It's not good. How I feel about myself affects every aspect of every moment of my life so it isn't simply about vanity it's about my life. So tomorrow (you really didn't expect me to NOT procrastinate on this did you) I'm beginning to take control of my life again - at least my diet and fitness life. It's the least I can do for me and my kids and the HotY.
This has been a very hard thing for me to write because, like I said, I would prefer to just pretend none of this exists. That people really do love me for who I am on the inside, but we all know the truth of that little lie - we are a superficial society - many lasting judgements are made on that first impression. For those of you who only know me through this blog you may find my revelations surprising since I don't know that I have ever complained about how I look but it's not good. So I'm hoping that you all will stick with me. I may talk about it now and then. I'll probably do a little update monthly just to keep me honest and you may find I'm a little crabbier than usual - but it's time for change and we all will have to take the good with the bad...

TTFN... man, I need to find a kleenex :-)

Conan O'Brien is on my list...

Did you see Conan O'Brien's last show tonight? If so then you understand why he is on my list. Sure, he may have red hair and glaringly white skin but he is funny and he seems to be a very humble and appreciative person. Make me laugh and make me think and play nice and you are almost guaranteed an in with me :-) So for all of you (Amy) who questioned my placement of Conan on the list - watch the last show - it's got to be on You Tube somewhere - oh and while you are searching that out try to find the video of his trip to Finland - that show made me laugh until I cried. Seriously.

I know this was sooo just out there. No rhyme no reason. But really I have been thinking and thinking and thinking that I should find something to write about as I haven't written in a while but when I try to put words to paper I come up with NOTHING! I want to write but nothing is coming. No flow. It's frustrating. I know I have things to say but still - nothing. So this is what you get - my idolization of Conan O'Brien - and you thought I had it bad for my Marvelous Mario :-)

TTFN...

Oh, one other totally random thing to go with the rest of this totally random post... I was talking with a friend the other day and I used the word "rote" he had no idea what I was talking about and made me show him the word in the dictionary since he didn't believe me when I said it was a real word and I had used it correctly. Do you know what the word rote means? And what about orthogonal? Do you know the meaning of this word (without looking it up)??? Can you use it in a sentence? Hey, what can I say, words (and my hair) are my thing... :-)

Updates...

Hmmmmm. I received an email today which said "update your blog already. I need updates". But the thing is I'm a little low on the updates these days.

• I've been really crabby lately - that's an update.
• We made heart shaped crayons for Valentine's Day school friend gifts (you can see the details of that little project on this blog: Elle's Studio - thank you Amy ;-)) That's another update.
• I had today off from work. We get one random holiday a year and this year they picked President's Day. It was like a bonus day since most of the world was working. That's update number three.
• Alex is in the shower right now and I can hear Taylor Swift singing about her Romeo - okay maybe that isn't an update but more like a little bit of insider knowledge. He has a shower radio, he got it for Christmas - does that count as an update?

What about these?

• I met my friend Wendy for breakfast at Panera on Saturday.
• I got my hair cut tonight and took Syd with me. She talked non-stop and picked out the "bride hair" she wants when she marries Wyatt. He will say "Hon, you look great" when he sees her (those were her exact words - I'm thinking Wyatt doesn't stand a chance when pitted against the girl's determination - this has been going on for the entire school year. Did I mention she is in KINDERGARTEN. At least she isn't bringing home a boy's phone number like her sister... and I was excited about having girls - HA!)
• I'm watching The Bachelor tonight although I'm not at all impressed with Jason nor his selection of love-sick women. I mean really, you're a single dad - is this the way you want to find a mother for your son???
• I'm wondering what the etiquette is regarding throwing your own birthday party. I have such a eclectic group of friends. Nothing would make me happier then spending an evening with all of them in one room.

Soooo, as you can see the updates - not so much lately. I'll try to see if I can't spice things up this week but I don't start coming out of my shell until the first real day of spring - SERIOUSLY!

TTFN...

Happy Birthday To Me...

no no no, not yet - don't get yourselves all worked up :-) My birthday isn't for another month - which just happens to be the exact date that the all new season of Dancing with the Stars will begin. I'm considering it a birthday present to myself - I've got big expectations for this season. Of course I can't remember who any of the dancers are - with the exception of Shawn Johnson as she is from my native state (I don't know if I spelled her name correctly but I know where she lives :-)) but I'm thinking they have big things planned for my viewing pleasure - after all it will be my birthday. Let the countdown begin...

TTFN...

Oh, and because I failed to mention this fact yesterday - although my sister is very unlike me in some very superficial ways - I love her very much - even if she does have a paint fetish :-)

Like Night and Day...

well sort of anyway. I have a sister - have I mentioned this before - I think I have - but if not - I have a sister. She is 6 years younger than I am. ANYWAY, she and I are not very much alike - my brother and I - that's a different story, but Nic and I - different. While I was Miss Girly Girl, must wear dresses every day, you can never have enough Barbies, she was Miss Tomboy, I will wear this football jersey t-shirt every day, what is a Barbie? (seriously - she hated Barbies - who hates Barbies?)

Anyway she posted THE 25 random things on her Facebook page and I thought I would share them. I probably shouldn't share someone else's 25 things without their permission but she's my sister and she's younger so really I can do what I want (did I mention I was the bossy one??). So without further ado here are her 25 random tidbits. And we aren't quite as different as I might have thought (my comments are in blue - because again, you know me right and you knew there would be comments).

1. I am totally and irrationally afraid of snakes!

2. I LOVE shoes...boots in particular - I get all tingly and happy inside when the new boots come out for the fall season. I know...it's a problem. (Okay my thing - sunglasses - but regardless - it's a collecting problem)

3. I also love clothes and love to shop. (Ditto)

4. I'm in advertising. My husband is an engineer. It works...go figure.

5. I love to paint - walls that is. We moved into our house 15 years ago and the family room has been painted about 6 or 7 times already. (She gets this from mom - who will get up any given morning and decide she is going to paint a room - any room - just for fun - the color may be up for a week or a year - but the painting it is a random decision. Me - it took me 3 weeks to decide on a paint color for the bathroom - paint is not like underwear people, there is no need to change frequently)

6. I like change - hence the multiple paintings of the family room.

7. I love to cook.

8. I hate doing laundry!

9. I would love to live on a lake, so I could go waterskiing every day in the summer. (Ditto)

10. I am going to attempt to learn to surf on our trip to Mexico. I am very excited and VERY nervous.

11. I hate making a fool out of myself. (which is why I'm nervous about trying to surf).

12. I am realizing that trying to come up with 25 random things about yourself is really hard.

13. I love cars. My ideal job would be working at Motor Trend or Car & Driver test driving cars and then writing critiques for the magazine. (Did I not mention this love of cars thing in my list also - it's a family thing trust me - I won't even go into the number of cars our brother has owned)

14. I like decorating, but I don't like to spend a lot of money on it - goes back to #6 - I don't want to spend a lot of money on stuff for the house because I know I will want to change it after 6 months or a year. (I like the decorating thing also - and Nic - two words - TJ MAXX)

15. Magazines I subscribe to: O, Architectural Digest, Waterski

16. I don't really read that many articles in magazines, I just like to flip through them and look at the pictures and read the photo captions. I may scan an article or two.

17. I am very proud of my sons. I think they are really good and kind. I know...every mother thinks that, but I think other people would agree. (They are very good boys - seriously)

18. I love to eat, especially anything Italian or chocolate.

19. I like to exercise once I start doing it, but I have a hard time making myself do it.

20. I apparently have a thing for older men - my husband is 12 years older than I am and all but 2 of the guys I've dated were older than me. (have I mentioned my husband is a younger man???)

21. I like martinis - a lot. Not the James Bond type, but the Sex in the City Cosmo type.

22. It took me awhile to find them as an adult, but I know have really great friends who I can relax with and have fun with and who love me for who I am.

23. I write and design ads and brochures for farm equipment - I have never lived on a farm, nor do I have any desire to live on a farm and, if it weren't for my job, I probably wouldn't pay much attention to the products I spend every day working with, but, yet, here I am. (Yep, we grew up in a Midwestern agricultural state and very rarely even visited a farm even though my dad's career was solely dependent on the farming industry).

24. That being said, I get a very content, happy feeling when I'm driving down the road on a beautiful spring day and notice the green haze of the new crops popping through the dark soil. (and the smell of the fresh turned earth in the spring - I love that smell - seriously you can smell the dirt)

25. I write and talk entirely too much. I could go on and on and on when I start writing. Although it's been hard to come up with 25 random thoughts, it's almost been harder not to elaborate on all 25. (I'm so glad I don't have that talking problem ;-))

So there you go, now you know a little bit more about my sister. I know, I know, pulling content from someone else's rambling, but really I've had nothing to say but thought you deserved to read SOMETHING new - I'd hate to be remembered as the chick who hunted down that stop sign runner like a dog after a cat (hey, it had been a bad day...)

TTFN...

Oh and this is her, my sister, Nicole - feel free to call her Nic - we do :-)

And one other thing - the HotY sent me a link to THIS article the other day - I thought it was good and so apropos with this post so I'm sharing - you know I'm all about sharing the knowledge :-)

One of those days...

today ended up being one of THOSE days. Really.

Each day I pick up my little cherubs :-) from school. Today, after turning onto the main road which leads almost directly to the school, an SUV (okay it was a Chrysler Aspen to be exact) ran a stop sign and pulled out right in front of me. GRRRRR. Then the same SUV ran the next stop sign which is a little bit further up the road - FINALLY he arrived at the stop sign at the school intersection and actually stopped. Believe me when I say I was waiting to see what he would do - all the while hoping that our destinations were the same - and they were. So I pulled into the pick-up line right behind Mr. Speedy McGreedy - proceeded to get out of my van, walk to his vehicle and rap on the window. He acted all surprised like to see me standing there and rolled down his window. I proceeded to say the following "I assume your children go to school here" to which he replied "yeah" (and believe me I know he was saying "so what" under his breath) and I said "well my kids go here too and I'm certainly glad they weren't with me in the car while you were running all those stop signs" He looked at me and said "I don't know what you are talking about get the F*** out of here" and rolled up his window. I was so mad, let's just say the adrenaline was pumping - and really I don't know what I expected him to do BUT he needed to know what he was doing was UNACCEPTABLE! Seriously. So I went back to my car, memorized his license plate number and thought "dang I should have just called the report in to the cops but now I can't because if they pay him a little visit he will know it was me". Shoot. And then I pulled out of the pick-up line, pulled into the parking lot and proceeded to start shaking. I can be such a girl!

So there you go - I confronted a total stranger about their driving. It actually is pretty unlike me - the confrontation thing - I hate confrontation. I will avoid it at all costs - until you get me pushed up against a wall - or really ticked off - then it is all over - and I hate it. I hate the loss of control. GRRRR.

I don't know how the rest of THAT driver's day went but the rest of mine was pretty much ruined. And to think there are people out there that like to do this kind of thing. Not me. Next time I think I'll just leave it to my friendly law enforcement officers...

All you didn't want to know and more...

My friend Wendy tagged me on my Facebook page to list 25 Random things about me. I thought I'd post them here too. This is as random as it gets...

1.I am deathly afraid of fire. I will only use those long lighter things. We had a wood burning fireplace in our first house – it never got used – not even once.

2.I hate ripe bananas. I like them when they are still a little bit green.

3.I was in a head-on car accident with a drunk driver. My knee was cut in half. I don’t remember the collision at all.

4.I’m a girlie girl but I like cars.
• 1st car Buick Skylark (blue)
• 2nd car Ford Mustang (blue)
• 3rd car Mercury Cougar (blue)
• 4th car Ford Mustang Convertible (white/black top)
• 5th car Honda Civic Hatchback (teal)
• 6th car Pontiac Grand Am Sedan (teal)
• 7th car Chrysler Intrepid (Red – NOT burgundy – I hate burgundy)
• 8th car Chrysler Town & Country Van (black)

5.I was accepted to a college for Commercial Art but I changed my mind at the last minute and went to a local tech school for computers.

6.I have lived in six different cities/towns and have had 16 different homes.

7.I am the oldest in my family (1 brother, 1 sister)

8.I always tell my kids I love them at least three times a day.

9.I have a very patient and tolerant husband (like this surprises you)

10.If I could have a super hero power I would be a time traveler (or a mind reader).

11.I love water. Some day I want a lake or ocean in my backyard.

12.I talk to my parents at least once a week.

13.I wish I could talk to my ancestors.

14.I’m fascinated with the Industrial Age of America

15.I hate math but like to balance the checkbook and pay bills.

16.If I were a little younger I would totally have my belly button pierced.

17.I love it when my kids want to snuggle with me – which luckily for me - is a daily occurrence.

18.I read every night while my husband gives me a head rub. Head rub over – reading done. Sometimes I beg for more.

19.I love to do unexpected things to make people happy.

20.I have never done drugs of any kind nor smoked a cigarette

21.I recently discovered the joy of Pomegranate Martinis – they are fabulous!

22.I have a very loyal and supportive circle of friends. They are a very disparate group but I love them all.

23.My children are 10 years apart – people have actually asked me if they have the same father (the answer is yes).

24.I like to knit but only with colors I think are pretty.

25.I never leave the house without mascara on my lashes.

I'm supposed to tag other people but I'm inviting everyone - just play along if you want - no obligation. But if you play - let me know - heck you could even post in the comments if you are so inclined (anonymous poster - I'm talking to you - you didn't think I had let this go did you?). Have fun.

Lack of content...

so many things could be listed under this category but I'll try to keep it to a minimum today.

I'm posting silly pictures of the girls - because - well they are girls and they are silly (hey, I warned you there would be lack of content). And besides they got their ears pierced a little over a week ago so take special note of the earrings. I'll talk more about that when I have more time - maybe later today. I typically don't post twice in one day but I never say never :-)



So, I know some of you are wondering about the mystery poster, as am I. So far no information has been forthcoming - but then as I was looking at my settings I noticed that even if someone WANTED to send me an email they couldn't, unless they already knew my email address, since I don't have an email listed. BUT I do now so if you are the mystery reader and you feel you would like to be kind and ease my mind go into profile and there is now an email button. Or I'll even save you the trip. The email is: crabbydeal@live.com I know I know how silly to be so obsessed about something so small - but I'm assuming that by now you all have figured out how I am :-) And if you are new - well it won't take you long to get it figured out :-) Let's just say, I'm quirky...

Okay, here's the pictures. Enjoy.

Speechless...

I have been sitting here thinking I had things to say and yet not knowing how, exactly, to title my thoughts or what it is that I want to say. It has all left me a little speechless - it is all I can think when I try to think of some kind of label to put on these thoughts, so Speechless it is - why struggle when there is no other way...

Today I was busy worrying about all the small things in my life. Things that really don't mean a bean in the grand scheme of things and now I am feeling selfish and small and trivial and unworthy because while I have been obsessing and struggling and trying to figure out my own small problems, people in this world are struggling with big problems. Problems like Stage 4 cancer which could take a young mother away from her husband and son. Who am I to ask for compassion, grace and ease when there are people in this world who need it all so much more than I.

This bad news about people we know has put me in my place. My heart is aching tonight for this family. A family who had their entire future changed in the amount of time it takes me to drive to work. It has all left me speechless.

I've got something to say (or who are you) ...

I KNOW! Can you believe it - ME - with something to say - even in the dead of winter with nothing more to look forward to than the sound of snowplows cleaning up the streets.

So here's the thing - and this is NOT about control, this is about knowing my audience - seriously. I'm asking this for you so I can make sure I am meeting your expectations and bringing you content you can appreciate :-)

Alright - so the comments on this blog are usually left by regulars - people I know or have grown to know - even those who post anonymously are still known to me - well until yesterday and this anonymous post:

"I love that song! :-)"

I know it seems innocuous enough but really I have no idea who left this comment and I always know who leaves the comments, even when no name is given. So who are you mystery poster? Please tell me - all you have to do is leave another comment and sign your name - or send me an email and let me know who you are. I have a feeling you are a regular and that you live somewhere in my local area and that I know you (hey, that is a lot of stuff to know for not knowing - KWIM???) so please tell me - it will be a good thing - I promise!

TTFN...

Where's the Tête-à-tête?

not to mention the witty dialogue...

I can't tell you how much I wish I had something to say - but alas I do not. No words of wisdom, no venting, no ranting, no raving, I don't even have any dirty little secrets to share (okay I have one - but it is more of a guilty pleasure than a dirty secret - are you ready - here it is - I like THIS song - I know I'm turning a little red even admitting it but there you go - and yet even this is anti-climactic). I've been so darn bored I've been reading my own blog (now maybe that should be a dirty little secret). Someday I'll tell you something about the blog but not today I just don't feel like getting into it and I've already made one confession today - that's enough.

So just to give you something to read here are two of my more favorite things that I've written. You know just in case you are all really bored too...

1. Who is looking for me?

2. Bowling with the elders...

Enjoy and stay tuned - you never know when I will have something to say.

TTFN...

I've been put on notice...

with this email:

Yo, woman! Get your butt off the couch and update the blog!

Seriously, that is a direct cut and paste from the email my friend Shirley sent me. She was feeling all giddy like because where she lives (Seattle) the sun finally decided to shine. Sure it's easy for her to be all happy and bossy when she's got sunshine. But you know I don't like to disappoint so Shirley - this one is for you :-)

I haven't been not blogging for any particular reason other than I've got nothin', nada, zilch, zero. I'm out of words. There has not been one exciting thing happening in my life since January began. It is the dog days of winter people and I really hate the cold. REALLY HATE THE COLD. I have no idea why I live where I do, I guess it is because we don't have bugs year round - the cold kills them off. So I've made my choice - cold and no bugs for half the year. I hate bugs even more than I hate the cold :-) My special bug hatred used to be saved for spiders but I think I've moved past spiders (I still don't like them) and moved on to beetles. YUCK. And the variety of beetles you can find is truly mind boggling. Seriously, we used to own Childcraft Encyclopedias when I was growing up (my personal favorites were Holiday's and Customs and How We Get Things) I've seen these things, I know. The beetles had a big section in one of those books - probably Gross Things You Wish You Had Never Seen :-)

So that is it - the sum total of what has been happening in my house. NOTHING but the minute something big happens you will be the first to know :-)

TTFN...

Oh, just so you know I haven't been a complete couch potato, I have been having some fun with Facebook - most of my first cousins are on there and since we are spread all over the country (Seattle, LA, San Diego, Destin Fl, Iowa, Michigan etc.) it has been kind of fun chatting and "meeting" their friends. I know I know Facebook - but what can I say... Besides with all this connecting you just never know when you are going to get an invite to a warm destination (for a vacation in the sun I can live with the bugs).

Big happenings in the little city...

It's been a big night at our house. Lauren lost her first tooth. It's been loose for awhile and hanging by a thread (literally). Tonight she was complaining that she couldn't bite and then showed me how loose the tooth was. I told her she should just pull it out and she did. WOW - she never listens to me.

Anyway, she was very excited until she saw the blood on the tooth. That freaked her out - for about ten seconds - and then it was all about the blood. She kept showing it to Syd who did not appreciate the bloody tooth. And then Lauren had to call everyone she knew to tell them about the lost tooth and to say that we would be sending a picture - blood included of course. Seriously - the blood it was a big thing. Who knew. I'm not quite sure what more to say about that. I mean really it's blood - but here is the picture - be sure to note the blood.

There was more I was going to write but in all the excitement of the losing of teeth and the making of phone calls and the admiring of blood I can't remember what more I could possibly have to say. Now just to remember that Tooth Fairy thing...

TTFN.

FIN*A*LLY...

We have finally completed our last Christmas celebration. Can you hear that huge sigh of relief? The 2008 holiday season can officially be put to rest. And that my friends is a good thing. I'm more than ready to get on with 2009. Let's get this party started. I think I may even be a little anxious to get back to work (I'm sure this is merely a fleeting thought but I'm just saying - it's time to get back to the schedule).

Sooooooo, that being said - here are the last of the Christmas pictures. Enjoy - or don't. You can move along - it won't hurt my feelings - sometimes even I get sick of my kids :-)

Princess Syd with her Knight in Shining Armor her cousin (my nephew) Jordan.

Lauren with her cousin (another nephew) Nicholas. Don't they look happy? :-)

The girls. Sydney, Shelby (my niece) and Lauren.

Christmas Returns - or - How to Freak Out a Five Year Old...

Today the I took Lauren and Sydney for a girl's day. First on the agenda was lunch followed by a trip to Target for Christmas returns. I had all the return items in a large red plastic bag (from Target - of course) so the girls could not see what was in the bag - until I started taking things out and placing them on the counter. And then the panic began. The returns were duplicates of items that had been received for Christmas - but Lauren & Syd did not know that - they thought they were the very presents they had received. And why would they think I was returning some of their presents? Because they haven't been picking up!!! And believe me there have been days when I really would like to return at least half of what they have gotten - not the least of which are Polly Pocket shoes!!!! You know what I mean - you've seen those shoes. They're tiny and the vacuum cleaner loves them! Anyway, I wasn't a totally mean mom - I only let them freak out for a couple of minutes - before the tears started or Syd crawled over the counter to rescue her princess dress (and I'm not kidding about that - she was beginning to climb the cart in her haste to retrieve her dress).

I know I know not much of a post but I'm procrastinating. I'm meeting Heather and Amy for scrapping tomorrow and I don't know where to begin with the packing. A problem only a scrapper will understand - so much stuff - so little space...

TTFN...

Now what???

2009. WOW, the beginning of a new year. The unequivocal fresh start - and believe me - there are many areas in my life which could benefit from a fresh start. So many things need changing and improving that I am overwhelmed and do not even know where to begin. Seriously. And if I let it happen, if I let overwhelmed win and overwhelm, it leads me to inactivity - actually dormancy would be even more accurate. I get so consumed by seeing all that needs to be done that I simply do nothing and ignore everything. There is just too much. Pretty soon I don't write, I don't call, I just don't communicate (I know I know there are those of you who are skeptical about this - but it's true - ask the HotY).

So first and foremost my resolution for 2009 is to not become overwhelmed. To learn to take things one piece at a time instead of trying to take on the entire pie of life.

Secondly, I'm going to try to stop repeating myself so often. I reread some of my older blog entries and what I have found is I say the same things over and over and over again. Talk about BORING. So if you find me repeating myself please feel free to speak up because right now I am so sick of myself I could puke. I really don't know how you people put up with me.

Thirdly, follow-through. I need to work on my follow-through. If I say I'm going to do something I need to do it. PERIOD. And really this follow-through thing combined with the overwhelmed thing contribute greatly to the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life so if I can get these two areas under control I think the rest will all fall into place. I'm hoping...

So there you go - I'm not sure where all this will lead. Hopefully to good things and good places. To being that extraordinary person I would like to be instead of who I am today. It may even lead to discontinuing this blog. I'm not quite sure - one piece of pie at a time...

TTFN... Feel free to share your own resolutions. I'm listening.