The angst is back...

If you watched Grey's Anatomy last night you know what I am talking about. I knew they couldn't keep that "Happily Ever After" thing going with Meredith and McDreamy - not when Meredith is all "dark and twisty" on the inside - even after being "fixed". Actually what is it with all the unhappiness lately - no one is happy - not even tv characters. I guess they are all working to their climax - too bad life doesn't climax and then start again the next season.

So I'm thinking of discontinuing this blog. I know I have said this before, when I felt like my writing was getting stale, but now I'm saying it because I'm not really sure what my purpose of the blog is anymore. I started writing because it was fun to express my quirkly thoughts on life and to document the every day things that happen in our household and little part of the world. Now my writing , not so much entertaining as contemplative, and really who wants to read that kind of stuff. And why am I writing? If this is going to become some sort of private diary than shouldn't it be private? I mean I get readers but not a lot of commenters so if the purpose is to share ideas and get feedback that purpose is not being fulfilled. Maybe my purpose in blogging is purely selfish as I like to write, I like to put my thoughts down on paper. The problem with that is when you put your thoughts on paper and then share them with the world you have to expect people to know about your life and I don't know - sometimes I'm not sure I should be sharing what I share - that it would be better to just keep my mouth shut. I just don't know. I feel so unsettled. And I feel like I have a lot to say and yet nothing at all - and when I do say something I'm not quite sure what to say and it comes out all wrong so I think I should just not say anything at all - but then it just bubbles up to the surface again. Do you know what I mean? Or is this just another one of the darn quirky things about me? (The HotY and I were discussing something the other night and I was asking him hypothetical questions. Finally he looked at me kissed me and said "Ang, I really don't think there is anyone else like you in the world." and he meant it in the nicest way, but still... ) See, see this is what I mean - is this the kind of thing I should be sharing? Is this the kind of thing I should be putting out there for the world to see and read? I don't know. Sometimes I think - well if people see themselves in what I write then maybe it is the thing to do (listen to me - sounding all Pulitzer Prize winning writer on you - ha).

Okay I better quit now before I start sounding like a character from Brothers and Sisters - which my dad has deemed the biggest bunch of whiny, selfish, self-centered characters on TV next to Thirty Something (which I would like to watch again as I wasn't old enough to appreciate it when it was in it's prime).

So there you go. My thoughts on a Friday. I know I know finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow it was not...

I think I've been this way before...

yesterday was just a weird day. I felt like I was living a rerun.

The girls had swimming lessons - the first lesson since last summer. And, just like the first lesson of the series that summer, I needed to stop and get gas. Although I left in plenty of time and went to a familiar gas station and knew that I paid correctly and could get the gas nozzle thingie down without touching it and I wasn't late I still did not come out of the encounter ditz free. I got out of the van and started filling up and the girls started yelling "MOM it's cold shut the door" I don't know what I was thinking about but it wasn't putting gas in the van and while deep in thought I forgot to close the door when I got out. Big eye roll - what was I thinking??? Where was I?

We were a little early for swimming (really, it's true) so instead of heading right for the club we took a drive in the neighborhood - a neighborhood I used to know very well as I used to live there. I took the hidden alley behind my former house on the one-way street and showed the girls the window that used to be my room. They weren't impressed - as a matter of fact they said "that's an icky house mom - I'm glad you don't live there anymore". At least they are honest :-)
Then we went to the lessons. They are taught by my friend Jan. She has privileges at a local health club - the same health club I went to for years when I actually liked to work-out. And although that was many years ago - before children - the place still looks the same. The colors in the locker room are the same, the front desk is the same, the pool is the same - I even saw some of the same people that were there all that time ago. It was kind of surreal. It made me want to work out (I KNOW!) It made me feel like I've been this way before. Like I said - it was just kind of a weird day.

I did watch Dancing With The Stars on Monday. There are some BAD dancers this time. And what is the deal with that Apple computer guy? He's old and everyone knows even the young computer geeks don't know how to dance - it's a documented fact - just look it up. I was most impressed with Shawn Johnson and the Melissa chick that was dumped by the Bachelor - I'm glad to see she is back on her feet. I'm thinking that Mr. I'm the best dad in the world Jason the Bachelor guy is not so much - you know? That man is going to be single for a lllllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg time. Pick a path and at least fight it out man - holy bananas. Anyway, there just isn't anyone making my heart go pitter patter :-) Where's my Mario? Syd was very impressed with the show and was mostly concerned about the costumes and shoes. SHOES - where did she get this shoe thing? I mean I like a cute pair of shoes and all but I don't have the typical female shoe fetish- not usually anyway - unless they are really really cute and maybe a little blingy and pretty and (okay maybe I like shoes a little) Anyway, it was not a good thing if she didn't get a look at the shoes - who knew. Oh and to say she was impressed by the fact that Barbie and I share the same birthday (although not the same number, contrary to what my friend Wendy would have you believe) would be an understatement. She's my girl :-)

Before I go I have one other random item: here is a link to Tara Whitney's blog. She is a photographer. She has posted this awesome video. Watch it - really - it will make you smile - it might make you cry - but either way it is such a sweet video I had to share. Who knew...

TTFN... some roads lead to new destinations and some just go in circles but regardless at least you're moving.

Happy Birthday to me - the official version...

it's 12:21 a.m. so that means it is officially my birthday. WooHoo. Ring the bells and bring on the party balloons.



You know it's such a funny thing about birthday's. I always tell myself that my birthday doesn't really matter. That I'm a grown-up. That everyone has a birthday - I'm not any more special than anyone else. But then it starts to creep up - that feeling of anticipation. Of wanting to really feel special. Like it is a big day - this day I entered the world.



I'll get up thinking that every thing about the day is going to be bigger and better than any other day. That the sun is going to shine brighter and the birds are going to sing sweeter and everyone will be nice to me and there won't be any sadness or anger or disappointment - that life is bliss. But then the end of the day will come and I'll realize it really wasn't that much different than any other day. That is not to say that the day will not be good. It will be good - very good - my kids and the HotY will be extra nice. I won't have to cook. I'll go out to lunch with Amy and maybe for a few cocktails with friends in the evening - but all in all - it's just a day like any other day (except those two little numbers which partially define me will be changing) - it is only in my mind - that thing about the sun and the birds and the goodness in the world - that the day is really anything beyond ordinary.



I don't mean to sound all melancholy (that's the problem with staying up late at night when the house is quiet - a lot of time to think). I've had a great birthday so far. We had cake and ice cream at my parents with a very nice gift. The HotY gave me a very unexpected and appreciated and far too expensive gift. My kids are all excited about giving me the cards they have made. It's good. All good. I know it's good. So don't get me wrong. I'm very appreciative of the life I have. Of the kindness and goodness and love I am surrounded with on a daily basis. It is all good - very good.



Sooooo, in light of my birthday I'm going to give you a list of songs you might want to add to your iPod if they aren't already there. These are some of my favorites from the non-mainstream (does that make sense). Some are new and some are old. Listen and enjoy. Or don't listen and move on. It is what it is :-)



Here you go - Happy Birthday to me - from me :-)



1, Adele - Chasing Pavements (thanks Amy :-))

2. Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy

3. One Republic - Come Home

4. One Republic - Won't Stop (ignore the video - it is the only clip of the song that I could find that wasn't a live version - it's about the song - not the video :-))

5. U2 - Running To Stand Still

6. U2 - Sweetest Thing

7. Shinedown - Second Chance

8. 3 Doors Down - Let Me Be Myself

9. Bruce Springsteen - One Step Up

10. Del Amitri - Tell Her This

All I want is to shower alone...

we are spending the weekend at my parents (hey, a girl needs her mommy and daddy at birthday time) and this morning all I wanted to do was take a shower - ALONE. You would think that would be an easy thing to accomplish, but not so much. There were no less than five people in and out within 15 minutes (and don't even bother to mention locking the door - it only results in incessant knocking). First Lauren was in because she had to go potty, (Lauren, I'm in the shower). Then Syd came in offering Grandma's yummy raspberry water (Syd, I'm in the shower). Then Alex came in and wanted to know if he could take a shower downstairs (ALEX, I'M IN THE SHOWER - GET OUT). THEN Dennis came in because he thinks there would be nothing better than taking a shower with me - right now - at my parent's (Dennis, I'm in the shower - my parent's shower - GET OUT) and then of course there is my mother who is in and out various times for various things, who knows what, but with her I just keep my mouth closed. She could send me back downstairs to THAT shower after all :-) And the thing about the shower? All of this in and out and shower visiting wouldn't have been so bad except that my parents redid their bathroom recently and put in CLEAR shower doors. NICE. Pretty they may be, private they are not...

So that birthday wish I made yesterday - it now includes "private shower".

TTFN... and remember to think twice about those pretty clear doors.

Holiday...

what about that song - is it a better one to have stuck in your head? Shirley????

So I'm on vacation (I'd say holiday but that is way too pretentious for me - I mean really, it (that whole pretentious fake British accent thing) didn't work for Madonna, so I'm positive it won't work for me). And truthfully, vacation is even pushing it a little. I have Friday and Monday off to go NOWHERE - to do NOTHING - Hooray for me. Well I won't be spending the entire time doing nothing but you know what I mean - no real obligations.

Friday I am meeting my friend Sue for lunch so we can figure out the community ed classes we will enroll our kids in this spring, which is just code for "find a time to get together and chat without kids or husbands" :-) So tonight, I'll stay up late, sleep in tomorrow and then go out for lunch - possibly followed by a little shopping (I need new sunglasses) - the options are limitless.

Monday is my birthday and I am still juvenile enough to want the day off. I mean it is bad enough thinking about turning 30 this year (Wendy - not ONE word) without having to work through the day :-) Besides I am meeting my friend Amy for lunch followed by shopping (that is a definite) - it's an all day event. I don't know what is planned after that. I might just send my kids to SACC and really enjoy an entire day to myself. Again, so many choices - the trail could lead anywhere :-) Oh and lest we forget - Dancing With the Stars begins it's new season.

And lastly about my friends (since I seem to be making that reference frequently tonight) my good friend Roxann came over last night and while we were talking she asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't come up with a good answer because seriously, just having a good, happy day filled with love is all I need. So, that's my wish (well that and for the anonymous commenter /reader to reveal themselves. Oh and for Dancing with the Stars to introduce a Rob Lowe secret super special dancing extravaganza).

I'm rambling. I've been kind of rambly lately. Feel free to doze off - just don't tell me - or at least wait until my birthday is over :-)

TTFN...

I will survive...

Before we go any further - just let me say for the record that THAT song is almost as high on my songs to dislike list as Sheryl Crowe and All I Wanna Do Is... (you know the song - I can't go any further because then it will just get stuck in my head). Sooooo, I survived my Monday - it wasn't that bad - just a very long day with a lot of stress since the failure or success of the day was firmly on my plate - I'm happy to say that the day was a success - followed by a huge sigh of relief from me. Actually today was a worse day but I'm not going to get into it. I really detest myself when I complain. If you can't fix a problem then you just need to cope and deal baby. I sometimes need to remind myself. So there you go - see I'm bossy with myself too :-)

That's it - all I've got - there is nothing happening in the big city. I could ramble on but I think I've already done that :-) So I'm out for now.

TTFN...

Can I skip ahead...?

Why is it that most of the time it isn't okay to skip ahead - at least not in life. Seriously, I'd be all right with not experiencing every aspect of every moment of every day - you know to skip ahead. Right now I'd like to skip ahead to Tuesday. It is not going to be a fun Monday. I have no idea what time I will be home tomorrow night as I have work obligations that will go into the evening and frankly - even though there are times when I can't wait to get out of the house (come on admit it - you feel that way sometimes too) tomorrow night I would much rather be at home. UGH. I'm just dreading it. I mean it is nothing that drastic but it is something that almost every one else, except a handful of people, will have a choice about. I'm one of the not so lucky ones due to the nature of my job, so no choice :-( I know I know why don't I whine just a little bit more - welcome to the world of adults - blah blah blah. I know...

So moving on... in case you're wondering I still do not know who my anonymous commenter/reader is. Just because I haven't said anything doesn't mean I've quit thinking about it - so come on - just let me know who you are. Don't make me link Taylor Swift again -one time was embarrassing enough :-)

Okay, that's it. I'm a little too crabby to be writing anyway.

TTFN... Think of me tomorrow because I'd much rather be thinking of you than what is on my agenda.

Waiting for Autumn...

I know and it isn't even Spring yet! Actually the Autumn we are anxiously awaiting is not of the seasonal kind. We are waiting for our new puppy who we picked out today and have named Autumn. I'm not sure we are ready for a puppy but it's a done deal. Three weeks to puppy-proof - it's an extreme measure to try to get my kids to pick-up but so far it is doing the trick.

Lauren had her heart set on getting a boy dog (I really don't know why). We picked out the puppy we liked the best - all of us thinking it was a boy - well because I said it was a boy (hey it looked like a boy to me - I guess I didn't look closely enough - either that or I need to take Biology class again). So we handed "him" over to the owner so she could attach the "taken" collar and guess what - IT'S A GIRL!!! Lauren was not happy and insisted she wanted a boy - so we picked a boy that looked almost as cute as our girl and then we mixed them up and told her to pick her favorite - she picked the girl. She still wasn't very happy. We told her to pick again (after mixing them up again) - she picked the girl again. This time we didn't tell her which it was - not until we got home. She's over it already but for a while there it was the end of the world - just ask Lauren.

So here she is Ms. Autumn, she is a Goldendoodle. She is only 5 weeks old so she won't be in our home for three more weeks. Unfortunately she is currently living about an hour from our house so there probably won't be any visits until we can bring her home.





I'm still not sure I'm ready for this.

TTFN...

But does He have a sense of humor?

God, that is. Or is He a practical joker (my LEAST favorite brand of humor)? - because I'm thinking that He takes great comic relief and delight in my quirky life. Seriously. FOR INSTANCE - remember that stop sign runner confrontation? Come on - I know you remember - it was so unlike me and I know you were all thinking - why did she do that? Anyway, today I discovered that not only do the children of said law breaker attend the same school two of my children attend, BUT he works in the same office building that I work in. WHAT? What are the chances of that? I mean come on - where I live, it's not a metropolis but it isn't a small town either. So now, not only do I have to avoid him at school, I have to worry about sharing an elevator with him or meeting him in the corridor or arriving in the parking lot at the same time - heck I'm afraid to even park next to the guy. I do not find any humor in this - nor any of the other "small world" twists of fate which make frequent appearances in my life.

I'm tired of being PUNK'D by God. I don't even like that show nor any other of the genre. I don't find them entertaining or funny - but - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - that I like. How come I don't get to participate in that game? Come on God, bring it on, I could win - I know I could. Just think of how proud You would be - sure it might not be as funny as this other weird and twisted destiny stuff but still...

Okay here's the thing...

I don't talk about this often - because - well I'd like to pretend it doesn't exist - but the truth of the matter is I really need to get control of my diet and fitness. In other words I NEED A DIET - seriously. I used to be soooo good about the fitness thing. I worked out regularly (like five days out of seven - and that does not include the leisurely Saturday or Sunday afternoon bike ride or walk I would fit in) and I walked almost everywhere except to my job. So see what I mean, that was good stuff. My diet - well that has never been the best. There was a time when I would only eat 800 calories in one day (I'm not kidding about this - you can ask around). I would eat whatever I wanted (some days it may have been 8 cookies) but once I hit that magical 800 calories I was done for the day and I wouldn't budge no matter how much cajoling there was by my roommates to please share pizza with them. I did this calorie restricting thing pretty faithfully for about four years, dropping pounds every week, working out consistently and yet continuing to think I was the fattest chick in the aerobics class (and really, I was never a skinny-as-a-rail kind of girl - my body genetics just have not predisposed me to that kind of figure. I'm a pear. I had an itty-bitty top with hips and thighs - YUCK). I hid in the back of the class just so I wouldn't have to confront the mirrors. I was told this type of behavior is called "anorexic tendencies" - whatever, I really hate being labeled. And then some things happened in my life that kind of knocked me off my feet and I found that I felt compelled to eat. I couldn't not eat anymore but still the mirror and scale dominated my life so I discovered a new way to combat the fat monster - I can eat and then I can throw up! WOW what a fabulous idea. Never mind that it took a ton of time and it's smelly and it made me tired and gave me callouses on my fingers - it was a way to have my cake and eat it too - literally. I was made to attend a Bulimia therapy group - they kicked me out - I was too ambivalent (It's true - I couldn't make up this kind of stuff). So on it went, trying to find my perfect skinny body which existed and yet I never saw it. Finally it stopped - I got pregnant and realized that this was no way to make a healthy baby. So I just stopped - I have been told that this is very unusual - this ability to just stop - atypical - quirky - that label I understand. And when I got pregnant the pounds piled on. All those abused fat cells in my body decided to rebel and had one heck of a party. WooHoo - let's inflate - and they did. And so the cycle continued until I am where I am today. It's not good. How I feel about myself affects every aspect of every moment of my life so it isn't simply about vanity it's about my life. So tomorrow (you really didn't expect me to NOT procrastinate on this did you) I'm beginning to take control of my life again - at least my diet and fitness life. It's the least I can do for me and my kids and the HotY.
This has been a very hard thing for me to write because, like I said, I would prefer to just pretend none of this exists. That people really do love me for who I am on the inside, but we all know the truth of that little lie - we are a superficial society - many lasting judgements are made on that first impression. For those of you who only know me through this blog you may find my revelations surprising since I don't know that I have ever complained about how I look but it's not good. So I'm hoping that you all will stick with me. I may talk about it now and then. I'll probably do a little update monthly just to keep me honest and you may find I'm a little crabbier than usual - but it's time for change and we all will have to take the good with the bad...

TTFN... man, I need to find a kleenex :-)

Conan O'Brien is on my list...

Did you see Conan O'Brien's last show tonight? If so then you understand why he is on my list. Sure, he may have red hair and glaringly white skin but he is funny and he seems to be a very humble and appreciative person. Make me laugh and make me think and play nice and you are almost guaranteed an in with me :-) So for all of you (Amy) who questioned my placement of Conan on the list - watch the last show - it's got to be on You Tube somewhere - oh and while you are searching that out try to find the video of his trip to Finland - that show made me laugh until I cried. Seriously.

I know this was sooo just out there. No rhyme no reason. But really I have been thinking and thinking and thinking that I should find something to write about as I haven't written in a while but when I try to put words to paper I come up with NOTHING! I want to write but nothing is coming. No flow. It's frustrating. I know I have things to say but still - nothing. So this is what you get - my idolization of Conan O'Brien - and you thought I had it bad for my Marvelous Mario :-)

TTFN...

Oh, one other totally random thing to go with the rest of this totally random post... I was talking with a friend the other day and I used the word "rote" he had no idea what I was talking about and made me show him the word in the dictionary since he didn't believe me when I said it was a real word and I had used it correctly. Do you know what the word rote means? And what about orthogonal? Do you know the meaning of this word (without looking it up)??? Can you use it in a sentence? Hey, what can I say, words (and my hair) are my thing... :-)

Updates...

Hmmmmm. I received an email today which said "update your blog already. I need updates". But the thing is I'm a little low on the updates these days.

• I've been really crabby lately - that's an update.
• We made heart shaped crayons for Valentine's Day school friend gifts (you can see the details of that little project on this blog: Elle's Studio - thank you Amy ;-)) That's another update.
• I had today off from work. We get one random holiday a year and this year they picked President's Day. It was like a bonus day since most of the world was working. That's update number three.
• Alex is in the shower right now and I can hear Taylor Swift singing about her Romeo - okay maybe that isn't an update but more like a little bit of insider knowledge. He has a shower radio, he got it for Christmas - does that count as an update?

What about these?

• I met my friend Wendy for breakfast at Panera on Saturday.
• I got my hair cut tonight and took Syd with me. She talked non-stop and picked out the "bride hair" she wants when she marries Wyatt. He will say "Hon, you look great" when he sees her (those were her exact words - I'm thinking Wyatt doesn't stand a chance when pitted against the girl's determination - this has been going on for the entire school year. Did I mention she is in KINDERGARTEN. At least she isn't bringing home a boy's phone number like her sister... and I was excited about having girls - HA!)
• I'm watching The Bachelor tonight although I'm not at all impressed with Jason nor his selection of love-sick women. I mean really, you're a single dad - is this the way you want to find a mother for your son???
• I'm wondering what the etiquette is regarding throwing your own birthday party. I have such a eclectic group of friends. Nothing would make me happier then spending an evening with all of them in one room.

Soooo, as you can see the updates - not so much lately. I'll try to see if I can't spice things up this week but I don't start coming out of my shell until the first real day of spring - SERIOUSLY!

TTFN...

Happy Birthday To Me...

no no no, not yet - don't get yourselves all worked up :-) My birthday isn't for another month - which just happens to be the exact date that the all new season of Dancing with the Stars will begin. I'm considering it a birthday present to myself - I've got big expectations for this season. Of course I can't remember who any of the dancers are - with the exception of Shawn Johnson as she is from my native state (I don't know if I spelled her name correctly but I know where she lives :-)) but I'm thinking they have big things planned for my viewing pleasure - after all it will be my birthday. Let the countdown begin...

TTFN...

Oh, and because I failed to mention this fact yesterday - although my sister is very unlike me in some very superficial ways - I love her very much - even if she does have a paint fetish :-)

Like Night and Day...

well sort of anyway. I have a sister - have I mentioned this before - I think I have - but if not - I have a sister. She is 6 years younger than I am. ANYWAY, she and I are not very much alike - my brother and I - that's a different story, but Nic and I - different. While I was Miss Girly Girl, must wear dresses every day, you can never have enough Barbies, she was Miss Tomboy, I will wear this football jersey t-shirt every day, what is a Barbie? (seriously - she hated Barbies - who hates Barbies?)

Anyway she posted THE 25 random things on her Facebook page and I thought I would share them. I probably shouldn't share someone else's 25 things without their permission but she's my sister and she's younger so really I can do what I want (did I mention I was the bossy one??). So without further ado here are her 25 random tidbits. And we aren't quite as different as I might have thought (my comments are in blue - because again, you know me right and you knew there would be comments).

1. I am totally and irrationally afraid of snakes!

2. I LOVE shoes...boots in particular - I get all tingly and happy inside when the new boots come out for the fall season. I know...it's a problem. (Okay my thing - sunglasses - but regardless - it's a collecting problem)

3. I also love clothes and love to shop. (Ditto)

4. I'm in advertising. My husband is an engineer. It works...go figure.

5. I love to paint - walls that is. We moved into our house 15 years ago and the family room has been painted about 6 or 7 times already. (She gets this from mom - who will get up any given morning and decide she is going to paint a room - any room - just for fun - the color may be up for a week or a year - but the painting it is a random decision. Me - it took me 3 weeks to decide on a paint color for the bathroom - paint is not like underwear people, there is no need to change frequently)

6. I like change - hence the multiple paintings of the family room.

7. I love to cook.

8. I hate doing laundry!

9. I would love to live on a lake, so I could go waterskiing every day in the summer. (Ditto)

10. I am going to attempt to learn to surf on our trip to Mexico. I am very excited and VERY nervous.

11. I hate making a fool out of myself. (which is why I'm nervous about trying to surf).

12. I am realizing that trying to come up with 25 random things about yourself is really hard.

13. I love cars. My ideal job would be working at Motor Trend or Car & Driver test driving cars and then writing critiques for the magazine. (Did I not mention this love of cars thing in my list also - it's a family thing trust me - I won't even go into the number of cars our brother has owned)

14. I like decorating, but I don't like to spend a lot of money on it - goes back to #6 - I don't want to spend a lot of money on stuff for the house because I know I will want to change it after 6 months or a year. (I like the decorating thing also - and Nic - two words - TJ MAXX)

15. Magazines I subscribe to: O, Architectural Digest, Waterski

16. I don't really read that many articles in magazines, I just like to flip through them and look at the pictures and read the photo captions. I may scan an article or two.

17. I am very proud of my sons. I think they are really good and kind. I know...every mother thinks that, but I think other people would agree. (They are very good boys - seriously)

18. I love to eat, especially anything Italian or chocolate.

19. I like to exercise once I start doing it, but I have a hard time making myself do it.

20. I apparently have a thing for older men - my husband is 12 years older than I am and all but 2 of the guys I've dated were older than me. (have I mentioned my husband is a younger man???)

21. I like martinis - a lot. Not the James Bond type, but the Sex in the City Cosmo type.

22. It took me awhile to find them as an adult, but I know have really great friends who I can relax with and have fun with and who love me for who I am.

23. I write and design ads and brochures for farm equipment - I have never lived on a farm, nor do I have any desire to live on a farm and, if it weren't for my job, I probably wouldn't pay much attention to the products I spend every day working with, but, yet, here I am. (Yep, we grew up in a Midwestern agricultural state and very rarely even visited a farm even though my dad's career was solely dependent on the farming industry).

24. That being said, I get a very content, happy feeling when I'm driving down the road on a beautiful spring day and notice the green haze of the new crops popping through the dark soil. (and the smell of the fresh turned earth in the spring - I love that smell - seriously you can smell the dirt)

25. I write and talk entirely too much. I could go on and on and on when I start writing. Although it's been hard to come up with 25 random thoughts, it's almost been harder not to elaborate on all 25. (I'm so glad I don't have that talking problem ;-))

So there you go, now you know a little bit more about my sister. I know, I know, pulling content from someone else's rambling, but really I've had nothing to say but thought you deserved to read SOMETHING new - I'd hate to be remembered as the chick who hunted down that stop sign runner like a dog after a cat (hey, it had been a bad day...)

TTFN...

Oh and this is her, my sister, Nicole - feel free to call her Nic - we do :-)

And one other thing - the HotY sent me a link to THIS article the other day - I thought it was good and so apropos with this post so I'm sharing - you know I'm all about sharing the knowledge :-)

One of those days...

today ended up being one of THOSE days. Really.

Each day I pick up my little cherubs :-) from school. Today, after turning onto the main road which leads almost directly to the school, an SUV (okay it was a Chrysler Aspen to be exact) ran a stop sign and pulled out right in front of me. GRRRRR. Then the same SUV ran the next stop sign which is a little bit further up the road - FINALLY he arrived at the stop sign at the school intersection and actually stopped. Believe me when I say I was waiting to see what he would do - all the while hoping that our destinations were the same - and they were. So I pulled into the pick-up line right behind Mr. Speedy McGreedy - proceeded to get out of my van, walk to his vehicle and rap on the window. He acted all surprised like to see me standing there and rolled down his window. I proceeded to say the following "I assume your children go to school here" to which he replied "yeah" (and believe me I know he was saying "so what" under his breath) and I said "well my kids go here too and I'm certainly glad they weren't with me in the car while you were running all those stop signs" He looked at me and said "I don't know what you are talking about get the F*** out of here" and rolled up his window. I was so mad, let's just say the adrenaline was pumping - and really I don't know what I expected him to do BUT he needed to know what he was doing was UNACCEPTABLE! Seriously. So I went back to my car, memorized his license plate number and thought "dang I should have just called the report in to the cops but now I can't because if they pay him a little visit he will know it was me". Shoot. And then I pulled out of the pick-up line, pulled into the parking lot and proceeded to start shaking. I can be such a girl!

So there you go - I confronted a total stranger about their driving. It actually is pretty unlike me - the confrontation thing - I hate confrontation. I will avoid it at all costs - until you get me pushed up against a wall - or really ticked off - then it is all over - and I hate it. I hate the loss of control. GRRRR.

I don't know how the rest of THAT driver's day went but the rest of mine was pretty much ruined. And to think there are people out there that like to do this kind of thing. Not me. Next time I think I'll just leave it to my friendly law enforcement officers...

All you didn't want to know and more...

My friend Wendy tagged me on my Facebook page to list 25 Random things about me. I thought I'd post them here too. This is as random as it gets...

1.I am deathly afraid of fire. I will only use those long lighter things. We had a wood burning fireplace in our first house – it never got used – not even once.

2.I hate ripe bananas. I like them when they are still a little bit green.

3.I was in a head-on car accident with a drunk driver. My knee was cut in half. I don’t remember the collision at all.

4.I’m a girlie girl but I like cars.
• 1st car Buick Skylark (blue)
• 2nd car Ford Mustang (blue)
• 3rd car Mercury Cougar (blue)
• 4th car Ford Mustang Convertible (white/black top)
• 5th car Honda Civic Hatchback (teal)
• 6th car Pontiac Grand Am Sedan (teal)
• 7th car Chrysler Intrepid (Red – NOT burgundy – I hate burgundy)
• 8th car Chrysler Town & Country Van (black)

5.I was accepted to a college for Commercial Art but I changed my mind at the last minute and went to a local tech school for computers.

6.I have lived in six different cities/towns and have had 16 different homes.

7.I am the oldest in my family (1 brother, 1 sister)

8.I always tell my kids I love them at least three times a day.

9.I have a very patient and tolerant husband (like this surprises you)

10.If I could have a super hero power I would be a time traveler (or a mind reader).

11.I love water. Some day I want a lake or ocean in my backyard.

12.I talk to my parents at least once a week.

13.I wish I could talk to my ancestors.

14.I’m fascinated with the Industrial Age of America

15.I hate math but like to balance the checkbook and pay bills.

16.If I were a little younger I would totally have my belly button pierced.

17.I love it when my kids want to snuggle with me – which luckily for me - is a daily occurrence.

18.I read every night while my husband gives me a head rub. Head rub over – reading done. Sometimes I beg for more.

19.I love to do unexpected things to make people happy.

20.I have never done drugs of any kind nor smoked a cigarette

21.I recently discovered the joy of Pomegranate Martinis – they are fabulous!

22.I have a very loyal and supportive circle of friends. They are a very disparate group but I love them all.

23.My children are 10 years apart – people have actually asked me if they have the same father (the answer is yes).

24.I like to knit but only with colors I think are pretty.

25.I never leave the house without mascara on my lashes.

I'm supposed to tag other people but I'm inviting everyone - just play along if you want - no obligation. But if you play - let me know - heck you could even post in the comments if you are so inclined (anonymous poster - I'm talking to you - you didn't think I had let this go did you?). Have fun.

Lack of content...

so many things could be listed under this category but I'll try to keep it to a minimum today.

I'm posting silly pictures of the girls - because - well they are girls and they are silly (hey, I warned you there would be lack of content). And besides they got their ears pierced a little over a week ago so take special note of the earrings. I'll talk more about that when I have more time - maybe later today. I typically don't post twice in one day but I never say never :-)



So, I know some of you are wondering about the mystery poster, as am I. So far no information has been forthcoming - but then as I was looking at my settings I noticed that even if someone WANTED to send me an email they couldn't, unless they already knew my email address, since I don't have an email listed. BUT I do now so if you are the mystery reader and you feel you would like to be kind and ease my mind go into profile and there is now an email button. Or I'll even save you the trip. The email is: crabbydeal@live.com I know I know how silly to be so obsessed about something so small - but I'm assuming that by now you all have figured out how I am :-) And if you are new - well it won't take you long to get it figured out :-) Let's just say, I'm quirky...

Okay, here's the pictures. Enjoy.

Speechless...

I have been sitting here thinking I had things to say and yet not knowing how, exactly, to title my thoughts or what it is that I want to say. It has all left me a little speechless - it is all I can think when I try to think of some kind of label to put on these thoughts, so Speechless it is - why struggle when there is no other way...

Today I was busy worrying about all the small things in my life. Things that really don't mean a bean in the grand scheme of things and now I am feeling selfish and small and trivial and unworthy because while I have been obsessing and struggling and trying to figure out my own small problems, people in this world are struggling with big problems. Problems like Stage 4 cancer which could take a young mother away from her husband and son. Who am I to ask for compassion, grace and ease when there are people in this world who need it all so much more than I.

This bad news about people we know has put me in my place. My heart is aching tonight for this family. A family who had their entire future changed in the amount of time it takes me to drive to work. It has all left me speechless.

I've got something to say (or who are you) ...

I KNOW! Can you believe it - ME - with something to say - even in the dead of winter with nothing more to look forward to than the sound of snowplows cleaning up the streets.

So here's the thing - and this is NOT about control, this is about knowing my audience - seriously. I'm asking this for you so I can make sure I am meeting your expectations and bringing you content you can appreciate :-)

Alright - so the comments on this blog are usually left by regulars - people I know or have grown to know - even those who post anonymously are still known to me - well until yesterday and this anonymous post:

"I love that song! :-)"

I know it seems innocuous enough but really I have no idea who left this comment and I always know who leaves the comments, even when no name is given. So who are you mystery poster? Please tell me - all you have to do is leave another comment and sign your name - or send me an email and let me know who you are. I have a feeling you are a regular and that you live somewhere in my local area and that I know you (hey, that is a lot of stuff to know for not knowing - KWIM???) so please tell me - it will be a good thing - I promise!

TTFN...

Where's the Tête-à-tête?

not to mention the witty dialogue...

I can't tell you how much I wish I had something to say - but alas I do not. No words of wisdom, no venting, no ranting, no raving, I don't even have any dirty little secrets to share (okay I have one - but it is more of a guilty pleasure than a dirty secret - are you ready - here it is - I like THIS song - I know I'm turning a little red even admitting it but there you go - and yet even this is anti-climactic). I've been so darn bored I've been reading my own blog (now maybe that should be a dirty little secret). Someday I'll tell you something about the blog but not today I just don't feel like getting into it and I've already made one confession today - that's enough.

So just to give you something to read here are two of my more favorite things that I've written. You know just in case you are all really bored too...

1. Who is looking for me?

2. Bowling with the elders...

Enjoy and stay tuned - you never know when I will have something to say.

TTFN...